Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản, thì và trật tự từ; nói rõ thời điểm trong quá khứ; tránh lỗi từ lặp; dùng từ chính xác (ví dụ: "ride" thay vì "fly" hay "walk"). Thêm một câu chủ đề rõ ràng và tối đa 3 câu hỗ trợ, kèm liên từ nếu cần để tạo sự mạch lạc. Ví dụ thực hành: nêu rõ bạn có xe đạp ở tuổi nào, mô tả ngắn về xe và tần suất sử dụng.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small bicycle when I was a student in Taiko. I used to ride it to college every day because it was convenient and cheap.

提案: Sắp xếp lại ý theo cấu trúc rõ ràng: mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp (Yes/No/It depends), sau đó giải thích bằng 1–2 câu hỗ trợ với liên từ. Tránh từ thừa và lỗi dùng từ (ví dụ "music" là không phù hợp ở đây). Nên nói cụ thể: ai dùng xe, tại sao thay đổi trong thời gian gần đây (ví dụ: giao thông công cộng, ôtô phạm vi giá tăng).

例: I think bikes used to be very popular in my country, especially among students and workers. However, nowadays fewer people use them because more families can afford cars and public transport has improved.

× I have a a small bicycle when I'm a student in Taiko.

✓ I had a small bicycle when I was a student in Taiko.

The sentence describes a past situation, so present tense 'have' and 'am' are incorrect. Use past simple 'had' and 'was' to match the past time frame. Also remove the duplicated 'a'. Suggestion: use past simple for past time references and proofread for repeated words.

× Every day I fly this walk to to go to college.

✓ Every day I walked to college.

The original contains wrong verbs and repeated words. 'fly' is incorrect in this context; likely meant 'walk'. 'This' is unnecessary and 'to to' is duplicated. Use 'walked' (past simple) to match past time frame and simply say 'walked to college'. Suggestion: choose the correct verb for movement and avoid extra words.

× Music in my opinion, years ago, my country everybody you buy a very popular, but nowadays when when developing.

✓ In my opinion, years ago bicycles were very popular in my country, but nowadays they are less common because of development.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and confused in structure. It mixes unrelated words ('Music', 'everybody you buy') and has repetitions ('when when'). Correct structure: start with 'In my opinion,' then state past situation using past simple 'were', refer to 'bicycles' or 'they', and contrast with present using 'nowadays' and present simple 'are'. Suggestion: organize ideas logically, choose appropriate subject words, and use correct tense contrast for past vs present.