Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is warm and personal, but has minor repetition and some unnatural phrasing. To improve: 1) Avoid repeating words (e.g., “small blue small blue bike”). 2) Use varied vocabulary and concise sentences (replace “I really adore it and I really loved” with a single stronger verb). 3) Keep length within 3–4 clear sentences: start with a topic sentence, then add 1–2 supporting details using linking words. 4) Correct small grammar/word-choice issues (e.g., “for me it was like a best friend” → “to me it felt like a best friend”).

例: I had a small blue bike when I was a child, and I even named it Jeff. I loved riding it around the neighborhood after school, so it felt like my best friend. Because I rode it every day, I became very confident cycling on busy streets.

提案: Your answer addresses the question and gives a clear comparison, but contains informal language, hesitations, repetition, and non-standard grammar. To improve: 1) Use formal, clear language and avoid fillers like “you know,” “like,” and contractions such as “ain’t.” 2) Organize the answer: start with a direct statement, then give reasons and a brief comparison using linking words (e.g., “because,” “however,” “nowadays”). 3) Provide a specific example or a short fact to support your point (e.g., rising car ownership or availability of motorcycles).

例: Bicycles used to be very common in my country because cars and motorcycles were too expensive for many families. However, nowadays fewer people use bikes for daily transport because motorcycles are cheaper and faster. For example, in my city most commuters prefer scooters for getting to work quickly.

× It was a small blue small blue bike.

✓ It was a small blue bike.

The sentence repeats the adjective phrase 'small blue' twice, which is redundant. This is an issue of adjective order/redundancy. Remove the repeated words so the phrase is 'a small blue bike'. Suggestion: Avoid repeating the same adjective; use each descriptive adjective once in the correct order (size before color).

× I really adore it and I really loved riding it everywhere throughout the neighborhood.

✓ I really adored it and I really loved riding it everywhere throughout the neighborhood.

The sentence mixes present tense 'adore' with past tense 'loved' though the context is a past time ('when I was a child'). Maintain past tense consistency: use 'adored' to match 'loved'. Suggestion: Keep verb tenses consistent; when describing past experiences use past tense verbs throughout.

× It was for me it was like a best friend.

✓ For me, it was like a best friend.

The original repeats the subject 'it was' and has awkward word order. This is a pronoun/reference and sentence structure problem. Reordering to 'For me, it was like a best friend' removes repetition and clarifies the reference. Suggestion: Avoid repeating the same clause; place introductory phrases like 'For me' at the start and keep one main clause.

× Back in the day, bikes were very popular, you know, because Because like motorcycles, cars were expensive for most of the people.

✓ Back in the day, bikes were very popular because motorcycles and cars were expensive for most people.

The sentence contains a repeated 'Because', an informal filler 'you know', and the phrase 'for most of the people' is wordy. This is a sentence structure and unnecessary-word problem. Remove fillers, the duplicate 'Because', and simplify to 'for most people'. Suggestion: Eliminate discourse fillers and duplicates; use concise phrasing such as 'because motorcycles and cars were expensive for most people.'

× So the main transportation was bikes, but nowadays it's ain't really that popular compared to other transportation like for example motorcycles.

✓ So the main transportation was bikes, but nowadays they aren't really that popular compared to other forms of transport, for example motorcycles.

'Ain't' is informal and nonstandard; additionally 'it's' (singular) conflicts with 'bikes' (plural). This is a subject-verb agreement and informal auxiliary usage issue. Use 'they aren't' to agree with plural 'bikes' and avoid 'ain't'. Also 'other transportation like for example motorcycles' is wordy; 'other forms of transport, for example motorcycles' is clearer. Suggestion: Use standard negatives ('aren't'/'isn't') matching the subject number, and prefer 'forms of transport' or 'modes of transportation' for clarity.

× So yeah nowadays it's not really popular

✓ So yeah, nowadays they aren't really popular.

The sentence uses 'it's' (it is) to refer to bikes (plural), causing disagreement. Also matching register and tense with previous correction, use 'they aren't' for plural agreement. Add a comma after 'So yeah' for clarity. Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents; use 'they aren't' for 'bikes'.