Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh, umm) and repeated phrases. Keep within 3–4 sentences and vary vocabulary (e.g., 'owned', 'enjoyed', 'ride around').

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I loved riding it and often rode around my house and through the neighborhood after school. Sometimes I rode with friends to the park, which was my favorite way to spend summer afternoons.

提案: Organize your response with a clear opinion followed by two specific reasons linked with connectors. Avoid vague or potentially negative descriptions like 'lazy'—use neutral explanations (e.g., 'inconvenient' or 'less practical'). Remove fillers and repetitions. Provide a brief example or comparison to strengthen your point.

例: I don't think bikes are very popular in Saudi Arabia. Mainly this is because the hot climate makes cycling uncomfortable, and the cities are designed around cars, so cycling is often impractical. For example, many routes lack bike lanes, so people prefer driving instead of cycling.

× I used to really like bikes and I used to ride around my house and around my neighborhood the whole time.

✓ I used to really like biking and I used to ride my bike around the house and around the neighborhood all the time.

The original repeats plural noun 'bikes' then describes riding 'around my house' which sounds unnatural with 'bikes' as a general hobby. Changing 'like bikes' to 'like biking' or 'like bikes' is acceptable, but keeping consistency and using singular 'my bike' clarifies the action. Also 'the whole time' is better as 'all the time' in this context. Suggestion: use 'biking' or 'my bike' and 'all the time' for natural phrasing.

× I don't really think bikes are so popular in Saudi Arabia.

✓ I don't really think bikes are very popular in Saudi Arabia.

The phrase 'so popular' is not wrong grammatically but less natural here; 'very popular' is the more appropriate adverb to express degree. This is an issue of word choice tied to adverb use (present tense statement). Suggestion: use 'very popular' to sound natural when making a general present-tense statement.

× maybe this is because of the weather and umm, the, the, the nature of the, of the weather over here in this country.

✓ Maybe this is because of the weather and the nature of the climate in this country.

The original has redundant words and incorrect article repetition ('the, the, the' and 'of the, of the weather'). Use 'the nature of the climate' or just 'the climate' with the definite article 'the' because we're referring to the local, specific climate. Suggestion: remove repetitions and choose 'climate' to avoid repeating 'weather'.

× I also think that people don't prefer using bikes and some are mostly lazy because they mostly use cars and other.

✓ I also think that people don't prefer using bikes; many prefer cars and other vehicles.

The original sentence is disfluent and ungrammatical: 'some are mostly lazy because they mostly use cars and other' is incomplete ('other' needs a noun) and repeats 'mostly'. Rephrase the idea: either avoid judging people as 'lazy' or state it more objectively. Use parallel structure: 'many prefer cars and other vehicles.' Suggestion: avoid vague words like 'other' without a noun and avoid redundant adverbs.