Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (parents, past tense) and avoid repeated words and fillers. Mention a brief outcome to complete the idea.

例: Yes. My parents bought me a bike when I was a child. At first I was afraid to ride because I thought I might fall, but after practicing with my father’s help I became confident and could ride to school within a few weeks.

提案: Answer directly and use clearer structure: give a topic sentence stating your view, then support it with specific reasons and an example or brief statistic if possible. Correct pronunciation and word choice (bikes, population, buy -> use). Avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country. About many people use them for daily travel because they are cheap and convenient. For example, students and workers often ride bikes to avoid traffic and save money on transport.

× my parent, my parent bought me a bike

✓ my parents bought me a bike

The speaker uses 'parent' (singular) but implies two people by repeating it; context and common usage require the plural 'parents' when referring to both mother and father. Use plural nouns when referring to more than one person or thing.

× at first time I was so scared to practice on the bike

✓ at first I was so scared to practice riding the bike

The verb 'practice' should be followed by the gerund 'riding' when referring to the activity of using a bike. Also 'at first time' is unidiomatic; use 'at first'. Use 'practice' + verb-ing for actions practiced.

× because I may, I may find out, I may fall down, fail, uh, but.

✓ because I thought I might fall down or fail.

The speaker is describing fear in the past. Use the past modal 'might' or 'could' (not present 'may') and make the clause concise. 'May' suggests present/future possibility; 'might' fits past context.

× Yes, by the main transportation in my country, ninety percent of population you buy to travel around I think I think bias is very convenient and easy for people to ride and the is

✓ Yes, bikes are one of the main forms of transportation in my country. Ninety percent of the population use them to travel around. I think bikes are very convenient and easy for people to ride.

The original sentence has multiple structure problems: wrong word order, missing articles, incorrect verb forms, and unclear phrases ('you buy to travel around', 'bias', 'and the is'). Corrections reorder ideas into clear sentences, add articles ('the population'), use correct plural verb agreement ('use them'), fix word choice ('bikes' not 'bias'), and match verb tense and subject-verb agreement.

× ninety percent of population you buy to travel around

✓ ninety percent of the population use them to travel around

The phrase 'ninety percent of population' needs the definite article 'the population'. The original uses 'you buy' which is incorrect; the verb must agree with the implied plural object (people), so use 'use' and refer back to 'them' (bikes). Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct pronoun reference.