Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: แก้จุดผิดไวยากรณ์และลำดับคำ ให้ตอบตรงคำถามก่อนแล้วอธิบายรายละเอียดเพิ่มโดยใช้ประโยคสั้น ๆ และคำเชื่อมอย่างเหมาะสม ควรใช้อดีตกาลสม่ำเสมอและลดความซ้ำซ้อน เช่น เริ่มด้วยประโยคหัวข้อที่ชัดเจน ตามด้วยรายละเอียดว่าได้เมื่อไหร่และเหตุผลหรือความรู้สึกต่อของชิ้นนั้น

例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. I received it as a birthday present when I was five years old, and I loved riding it around my neighborhood every afternoon.

提案: ปรับการตอบให้ชัดเจนและครบประเด็น ใช้เหตุผลเฉพาะเจาะจงและเชื่อมประโยคด้วยคำเชื่อม เช่น 'because' ตามด้วยสาเหตุที่สมบูรณ์ หลีกเลี่ยงการพูดซ้ำ และให้ตัวอย่างหรือเปรียบเทียบเพื่อสนับสนุนคำตอบ

例: No, I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country because most people prefer cars and buses for convenience. For example, long distances between cities and limited cycling infrastructure make driving or taking public transport more practical.

× I have a bike when I was a child.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child.

The student used present tense 'have' with a past time expression 'when I was a child'. Use past tense 'had' for actions or states that occurred in the past. Suggestion: Match the verb tense to the time reference (use past simple for finished past situations).

× I have it when I'm five years old, which is I get I got a bike when I was five years old, which it is my birthday present.

✓ I got it when I was five years old; it was my birthday present.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and contains mixed tenses and redundant fragments. Use past simple 'got' for the past event and 'was' for describing the present of that past event. Also remove redundant phrases. Suggestion: Keep a simple past structure: 'I got it when I was five years old. It was my birthday present.'

× I have it when I'm five years old, which is I get I got a bike when I was five years old, which it is my birthday present.

✓ I got it when I was five years old; it was my birthday present.

Mixing 'I'm five years old' (present) with past narrative causes tense inconsistency. Use past tense throughout when narrating past events. Suggestion: Maintain consistent past tense for all verbs describing past events.

× I don't think bikes are popular in my country because in my country we use mostly.

✓ I don't think bikes are popular in my country because we mostly use cars, trucks and airplanes.

The clause 'we use mostly' is incomplete and awkwardly placed. Move the adverb 'mostly' before the verb or before the list of items and complete the object. Suggestion: Use 'we mostly use cars, trucks and airplanes' or 'we use mostly cars, trucks and airplanes.'

× We use mostly like we use mostly cars, trucks and airplanes because.

✓ We mostly use cars, trucks and airplanes.

This sentence is repetitive and ends with an unnecessary 'because' with no clause following it. Remove repetition and the incomplete conjunction. Suggestion: State the idea simply: 'We mostly use cars, trucks and airplanes.'