Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조를 더 명확히 하고 반복되는 말(예: "my my", "so")을 줄이세요. 시작 문장에서 직접 질문에 답한 뒤에 짧은 배경과 구체적 경험을 연결해서 말하면 자연스럽습니다. 또한 시제를와 시기 표현을 정확히 사용하고, 연결어를 이용해 논리적으로 이어가세요. 예: 언제(학년) 자전거를 받았는지, 누구와 탔는지, 자전거를 타면서 무엇을 했는지 등 구체적 세부사항을 하나나 두 개 덧붙이세요.

例: Yes, I did. My parents bought me a bike when I was in first grade, and I was thrilled. I rode it every day around my neighborhood, often with my older brother, which helped me get better at balancing and cycling longer distances.

提案: 답의 핵심을 먼저 말하고 이유를 정리된 순서로 제시하세요. 말할 때 불필요한 추측 표현(예: "I guess")과 채우는 소리(예: "uh")를 줄이세요. 가격이나 서비스에 대한 구체적 정보는 좋으니, 연결어(예: "for example", "because", "therefore")를 사용해 이유와 예시를 깔끔하게 연결하세요.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because of convenient bike-sharing services. For example, many companies offer dockless bikes that you can unlock with an app, and it usually costs only about $1 per hour, so people often choose bikes for short city trips.

× Yes I did. So my my parents bought me a bike when I was one grade and I was so happy. So, uh, every day I rode the bike.

✓ Yes, I did. My parents bought me a bike when I was in first grade, and I was so happy. Every day I rode the bike.

The original contains repetition ('my my'), informal fillers ('So, uh'), and an awkward time expression ('when I was one grade'). This is a sentence structure issue: combine short fragments into clear sentences and use the correct collocation 'in first grade'. Remove fillers and extra conjunctions. Improve punctuation by using commas and periods to separate ideas.

× Hmm yes indeed, because we have uh, sharing bike service and it is so cheap so I can find everywhere and if I download the app I guess it's only $1.00 for one hour.

✓ Yes, indeed. We have a bike-sharing service and it is so cheap that I can find one everywhere, and if I download the app I guess it costs only $1.00 per hour.

Errors include wrong noun order ('sharing bike service' should be 'bike-sharing service'), incorrect or missing prepositions ('find everywhere' should be 'find one everywhere'), and wrong expression for price duration ('for one hour' better as 'per hour' or 'costs $1.00 per hour'). These are preposition and collocation issues; use correct compound noun order and prepositions and add 'that' to introduce result clauses for clarity.