Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, add one or two specific supporting details using linking words, and avoid filler words. Mention where and when you rode it and one reason why you liked it. Keep responses to under five sentences.

例: Yes, I did. It was a small orange-and-white bike with training wheels because I was very young. I used to ride it in the local park and on quiet streets, and I liked it because it made me feel independent and I enjoyed racing my friends.

提案: Structure the reply with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons using linking words for coherence. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g. 'inexpensive', 'low maintenance', 'electric bikes') and avoid vague phrases like 'some situations.' Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are inexpensive to buy and cheap to run. Moreover, they require low maintenance for everyday use, so many people prefer them for short commutes. Recently, electric bikes have become more common, which makes cycling accessible to older people and those who travel longer distances.

× Yes I did, it was a bright color I remember it was orange and white.

✓ Yes, I did. It was a bright color; I remember it was orange and white.

Run-on sentence and punctuation: the original combines independent clauses without proper punctuation. Use a period or semicolon to separate them. This is a past-time description, so past tense is correct; fix punctuation to improve clarity.

× It had four wheels as I was too young and I couldn't ride it properly but I really liked it and it was really fun riding the bike.

✓ It had four wheels because I was too young and couldn't ride it properly, but I really liked it and it was really fun to ride the bike.

Incorrect verb form and connector: 'as' is acceptable but 'because' is clearer for cause. Use the infinitive 'to ride' after 'fun' rather than the -ing form when expressing that something is enjoyable. Also add commas to separate clauses for readability.

× Umm in the parks or just a simple Rd.

✓ I rode it in parks or on simple roads.

Fragment and preposition error: original is a fragment missing a verb. Use full sentence with past tense 'rode' to match context. Also use the preposition 'on' with 'roads' and avoid abbreviation 'Rd.' in spoken description.

× Yes, I do. A lot of people use this as their own transport.

✓ Yes, I do. A lot of people use them as their means of transport.

Demonstrative pronoun agreement: 'this' refers to singular, but 'bikes' (plural) is implied. Use 'them' to match plural or rephrase to 'bicycles' and 'their means of transport' for clarity.

× It doesn't need too much money.

✓ They don't cost much money.

Verb and subject agreement and idiomatic expression: 'need' is not appropriate for inanimate objects like bikes; use 'cost' and match plural subject 'they'. Also use 'much' without 'too' unless intending excess.

× It doesn't need any maintenance, only if it's broken or some situations.

✓ They don't need much maintenance, only in case of a breakdown or in some situations.

Subject-verb agreement and phrasing: use plural 'they' for bikes. 'Need any maintenance' is odd; 'need much maintenance' is more natural. Replace 'it's broken' with 'a breakdown' and 'some situations' -> 'in some situations'.

× And we also have electronic bikes that just regular people can use.

✓ We also have electric bikes that ordinary people can use.

Word choice and word order: 'electronic bikes' is less natural than 'electric bikes.' 'Just' is unnecessary; 'ordinary' or 'regular people' should follow 'that' or better rephrase as 'that ordinary people can use.' Adjust word order for clarity.