Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce filler words and repetition, organize into a clear topic sentence plus 1–2 supporting details, and use more precise vocabulary. Aim for 2–4 sentences. For example, start with a direct statement ("Yes, I had a bike and I still have it") then add when you learned and why you liked it, using linking words (e.g., "I learned... when I was in primary school. Also, it was fun because...").

例: Yes, I had a bike and I still have it. I learned to ride when I was in primary school, so I became confident on it early. Also, I enjoyed cycling because it was a healthy activity and gave me freedom to explore my neighborhood.

提案: Make the response direct and concise, avoid hesitations, and provide a clear reason plus a specific example or comparison. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "for example", "however"). Keep it within 2–3 sentences. Replace vague phrases with concrete details (e.g., "busy cities, heavy traffic, limited bike lanes").

例: Bikes are not very popular in my country for commuting. Because cities are very busy and there are few bike lanes, most people prefer motorbikes or buses; for example, my coworkers usually take the bus to work rather than cycle.

× Yes, I had a bike and even till now I still have it.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, and I still have it now.

The original sentence mixes past and present without clear time reference. Adding 'when I was a child' clarifies the past possession and placing 'still have it now' makes the present possession explicit. Use consistent time markers to avoid confusion.

× Umm, I learned how to bike Umm, when I was when I was in primary school Umm, I think it's very fun to umm, ride bicycle umm, because umm, it's definitely a healthy sport and umm, I think it's very intriguing.

✓ I learned how to ride a bike when I was in primary school. I think it's very fun to ride a bicycle because it's definitely a healthy activity and I find it intriguing.

Multiple issues: 'bike' as a verb is informal; use 'ride a bike' or 'ride a bicycle.' 'Ride bicycle' is missing the article 'a.' 'Healthy sport' is acceptable but 'healthy activity' sounds more natural. Remove repeated filler words and duplicate phrase 'when I was.' Use parallel sentence structure and correct noun articles.

× In my country, there's no there's not many people ride bikes UMM for work or to go to school because UMM in my country is a very busy and crowded place, so there's not enough room for us to umm travel to places far away by using.

✓ In my country, not many people ride bikes for work or to go to school because it is very busy and crowded, so there is not enough room to travel long distances by bike.

Problems include awkward contractions and repetition ('there's no there's not'), missing subject reference ('it is' instead of repeating 'in my country'), missing object after 'by using' (incomplete phrase). Also use 'not many people' rather than 'there's not many people' to avoid subject-verb mismatch. Clarify 'travel to places far away by using' to 'travel long distances by bike.'