Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer grammatically correct, more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., because, so). Avoid repetition and improve word choice (e.g., "my parents were cautious about my safety"). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I didn't know how to ride. Also, my parents were very cautious about my safety, so they wouldn't let me try riding on the road.

提案: Give a clear, structured answer: start with a direct opinion, then support it with specific reasons and a concise statistic if you use one. Use correct grammar and clearer vocabulary (e.g., "affordable", "developing country", "about 80% of the population"). Use linking words like "because" and "so" to connect ideas and avoid vague phrases.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because cars are relatively expensive and many people need affordable transport. As a result, in this developing country about 70–80% of people choose motorcycles or bicycles for daily travel.

× No, I don't have a bike when I was a child because I don't know how to ride a bike and my parents are little more conscious in my health and my security, so I cannot get a chance to ride a bike or just try to ride a bike.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I didn't know how to ride and my parents were more concerned about my health and safety, so I never had a chance to try riding a bike.

The original mixes present and past tense incorrectly. Use past tense to describe childhood: 'didn't have' and 'didn't know'. 'Are little more conscious in my health and my security' is incorrect; use 'were more concerned about my health and safety'. 'Cannot get a chance' should be past: 'never had a chance'. Suggestions: keep consistent past tense for past events, use 'concerned about' + noun, and simplify repetitive phrases (e.g., 'ride a bike' -> 'ride').

× Our country is economic country.

✓ Our country is an economic country.

Missing article 'an' before a singular countable noun phrase 'economic country'. Use 'an' because 'economic' begins with a vowel sound. Suggestion: include appropriate articles before singular countable nouns.

× It's a growing country, so the mostly 80 percentage of my populations are concerned with budget.

✓ It's a growing country, so mostly 80 percent of my population are concerned about their budgets.

Several errors: use 'percent' not 'percentage' with a number, 'mostly 80 percent' is awkward — better 'mostly' or 'about 80 percent'; 'my populations' is wrong—use singular 'population'; 'are concerned with budget' should be 'are concerned about their budgets' or 'are budget-conscious'. Suggestion: say 'about 80 percent of the population are concerned about their budgets' or 'about 80 percent of people are budget-conscious'.

× Yes, ma'am. Mostly bikes are popular in my country because cars and heavy vehicles are little more expensive.

✓ Yes, ma'am. Bikes are very popular in my country because cars and heavy vehicles are much more expensive.

Use 'are' is acceptable, but 'Mostly bikes are popular' is awkward; place 'mostly' differently or use 'very popular'. 'Little more expensive' is incorrect collocation; use 'much more expensive' or 'a little more expensive' depending on meaning. Suggestion: use natural modifiers ('very popular' or 'mostly popular') and correct comparative adverb 'much' or 'a little'.