Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct tense and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two supporting details using linking words. Use past tense consistently and fix contractions (wouldn’t/won’t).

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my father was worried I might get hurt. As a result, I usually walked or took public transport to school, although I wanted to learn to ride.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then add specific, coherent supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating words and keep tense consistent. Provide a brief reason or example of change if you mention a trend.

例: Yes, I think bikes have been popular in the Philippines, especially among children and commuters. However, recently I’ve noticed fewer bikes on the streets because more people are using motorbikes and ride-hailing services.

× Unfortunately, no, I I did not have a bike when I was a child because my father won't let me ride a bicycle because he's afraid that I might get hurt.

✓ Unfortunately, no, I did not have a bike when I was a child because my father wouldn't let me ride a bicycle because he was afraid that I might get hurt.

The original uses 'won't let' (present/future modal) and 'he's afraid' (present) while the main clause is in the past ('did not have'), causing tense inconsistency. Use the past modal 'wouldn't' and past reporting 'was afraid' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: keep subordinate clauses in past when the main event is past, e.g., 'wouldn't let' and 'was afraid.'

× I think bikes are popular in my country, specifically the Philippines, because I see a lot of children playing with bikes.

✓ I think bikes are popular in my country, specifically the Philippines, because I see a lot of children playing with bikes.

This sentence is grammatically correct. The present simple 'think' and 'are popular' match the speaker's current opinion; 'I see' appropriately describes ongoing observation. No change needed.

× Unfortunately, Unfortunately, this time around I can't see, I don't see as much.

✓ Unfortunately, this time around I don't see as many.

There are repetition and redundancy ('Unfortunately, Unfortunately') and mixed negative forms ('can't see, I don't see'). Also 'as much' is uncountable but 'bikes/children' is implied and plural, so 'as many' is correct. The corrected sentence removes duplication, uses one negative form 'don't see', and uses 'as many' to compare countable items. If referring to the number of children or bikes, use 'as many'; if referring to general activity, 'as much' could be used with an uncountable noun.