Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid fillers like “uh.” Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Keep it within 2–4 sentences. Also add a brief reason or feeling to make the answer more vivid.

例: Yes, I did. I had a blue bike that I learned to ride with my parents, and I practiced in the park every weekend. Because they helped me, riding became one of my fondest childhood memories.

提案: Organize your response: give a clear direct opinion, then support it with specific reasons and a linking word. Avoid unclear phrases and repetition. Correct grammar (e.g., plural forms, articles) and use precise vocabulary (e.g., public transport, traffic, pollution). Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are fairly popular, especially in smaller cities. However, many people prefer public transport in large cities because of heavy traffic and safety concerns, so I personally prefer biking for short trips since it is faster and more environmentally friendly.

× Yes, I did. I had a bike, uh, I had a blue bike and I practiced riding it with my parents. It was a very nice memory for me.

✓ Yes, I did. I had a bike. I had a blue bike and I practiced riding it with my parents. It was a very nice memory for me.

The original contains run-on punctuation rather than a grammatical tense error; however the sentence uses past tense correctly (did/had/practiced/was). The correction splits the run-on clause into two properly punctuated sentences for clarity. Suggestion: use periods or conjunctions to separate independent clauses and maintain past tense consistently.

× Yes, I think many people use bike, but I think uh, more on the wallpaper use other transportation such as, such as loop.

✓ Yes, I think many people use bikes, but I think many other people use other forms of transportation such as buses or subways.

The original has a singular/plural mismatch: 'many people use bike' should be 'use bikes' (plural). It also contains unclear wording 'more on the wallpaper' and 'such as loop' which seem incorrect. I replaced them with clear, grammatically correct alternatives ('many other people' and 'buses or subways'). Suggestion: ensure nouns agree with quantifiers ('many people' + plural noun), and choose precise vocabulary.

× It is, I think it is a kind of dangerous.

✓ I think it is kind of dangerous.

Original is redundant and awkwardly repeated 'it is, I think it is'. The phrase 'a kind of dangerous' is unnatural; 'kind of dangerous' or 'somewhat dangerous' is preferred. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary repetition and use natural adverbial modifiers.

× So I prefer bikes.

✓ So I prefer riding bikes.

While 'I prefer bikes' is understandable, it may be stylistically better to specify the action 'riding bikes' to match context. There is no strict grammatical error, but improving verb-noun pairing clarifies the meaning. Suggestion: when comparing preferences involving activities, use the gerund (riding) to make the verb-object relationship clear.