Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “very properly” and “perfectly” together) and keep to 3–4 sentences. Also correct small grammatical issues (use past tense consistently).

例: Yes — I had a purple bike when I was a child. At first it had training wheels because I couldn’t balance, but when I practiced more the wheels were removed. By the time I was ten I could ride confidently around my neighborhood.

提案: Make your answer more structured: start with a direct opinion sentence, then add two clear supporting points using linking words (e.g., "for example," "because"). Avoid repetition ("at night or in the daytime") and tighten phrasing. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "bike-sharing schemes" instead of "apps for these bikes").

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, bike-sharing schemes are widespread in my city, so people can rent bikes parked on the streets. Because of this convenience, many commuters use bikes for short journeys both day and night.

× Yes, I vividly remember having a bike as a child.

✓ Yes, I vividly remember having had a bike as a child.

The sentence reports a past possession while using 'remember' referring to a past event; when 'remember' refers to recalling a past action or state, the past perfect ('having had') is more precise to indicate the possession occurred before the time of remembering. Suggestion: use 'having had' to clarify the sequence of past events.

× It was purple and it had supporting wheels since I couldn't ride very properly back then.

✓ It was purple and it had training wheels because I couldn't ride very well back then.

'Supporting wheels' is uncommon; 'training wheels' is the natural term. 'Since' is acceptable but 'because' is clearer for reasons. 'Very properly' is incorrect collocation; use 'very well' to modify the verb 'ride'. Suggestion: use natural collocations: 'training wheels' and 'ride very well.'

× But as I grew older those wheels came off and I could ride a bike perfectly now.

✓ But as I grew older those wheels came off and I could ride a bike perfectly then.

The sentence mixes past narrative ('grew older', 'came off', 'could') with 'now', which shifts to present time and creates a tense inconsistency. Replace 'now' with 'then' to keep past time reference, or change the verbs to present if describing a current ability. Suggestion: maintain consistent past or present time framing.

× Absolutely. Bikes are very popular in my country and the area that I live as a lot of bikes that you can rent are just directly off the streets and many people use them.

✓ Absolutely. Bikes are very popular in my country, and in the area where I live there are a lot of bikes you can rent right on the streets, and many people use them.

Several issues: 'the area that I live' should be 'the area where I live' (relative clause with location). The phrase 'as a lot of bikes that you can rent are just directly off the streets' is ungrammatical; use 'there are a lot of bikes you can rent right on the streets.' 'Directly off the streets' is awkward; 'right on the streets' or 'docked on the streets' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'where' for locations and structure existential 'there are' correctly.

× And that's why the apps for these bikes are very popular and you can see a lot of bikes in town and on the roads at night or in the daytime.

✓ That's why the apps for these bikes are very popular, and you can see many bikes in town and on the roads both at night and during the day.

The original is wordy and slightly repetitive. 'A lot of bikes' is acceptable but 'many bikes' is more concise. 'At night or in the daytime' is better expressed as 'both at night and during the day.' Also remove initial 'And' for formality. Suggestion: use concise conjunctive structure and parallel expressions for times of day.