Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조와 연결 표현을 개선하세요. 현재 답변은 주제 문장만 있고 문장 연결이 어색합니다. 예를 들어, 소유 시점(언제)과 감정(기억 또는 이유)을 덧붙이면 더 자연스럽습니다. 또한 문장 구분(마침표)을 사용하여 한 문장이 너무 길게 이어지지 않게 하세요. 구체적으로는 ‘My father bought me’를 뒤에 붙이기보다 이유나 기억을 덧붙여 2~3문장으로 나누고 접속사나 시간 표현을 사용하세요.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father bought it for me when I was about seven, and I remember riding it around the neighborhood every afternoon.

提案: 의견을 명확히 하고 구체적 이유와 예를 제시하세요. 현재 말에는 불필요한 반복과 문법 오류(예: 'who ride the bike')가 있어 이해가 어렵습니다. 접속사와 이유(교통, 문화, 인프라 등)를 사용해 논리적으로 설명하고 개인 경험을 연결하세요. 또한 'but'를 쓸 때는 대비되는 내용을 명확히 하세요.

例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country because most people prefer cars or motorcycles for commuting. For example, there are few bike lanes in my city, so I rarely see people cycling on the streets. However, I personally enjoy riding a bike for exercise and weekends.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child my father bought me.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child; my father bought it for me.

The original sentence is a run-on with two independent clauses improperly joined and missing an object pronoun. Use a semicolon or separate into two sentences and replace 'a bike' with the pronoun 'it' in the second clause; add 'for' to show benefit ('bought it for me'). Grammar problem type ID:26

× In my country, uh, bikes are not popular. I think so because I never saw who ride the bike. Who rides a bike, but I like to ride a bicycle.

✓ In my country, bikes are not popular. I think so because I never saw anyone riding a bike. Few people ride bikes, but I like to ride a bicycle.

Multiple issues: 'who ride the bike' is ungrammatical—use 'anyone riding a bike' or 'people riding bikes'. 'Never saw' requires an object like 'anyone' and the verb form should be 'riding' as a gerund after 'saw'. 'Who rides a bike' is a fragment; replace with 'Few people ride bikes' for clarity and subject-verb agreement. Also use plural 'bikes' consistently when speaking generally. Grammar problem type ID:27