Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 불명확하고 중복 표현이 많습니다. 먼저 질문에 대한 직접적인 주제 문장을 간결하게 말한 후, 한두 문장의 구체적 세부사항(예: 몇 살 때, 어디에서 탔는지, 누구와 함께였는지)을 연결어로 이어 설명하세요. 문법(시제, 관사)과 어휘 선택을 정리하고 불필요한 단어는 제거하세요. 예: ‘because’와 같은 이유 제시는 한 번만 사용하고, ‘so’나 ‘but’로 문장을 중복하지 마세요.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I got it when I was seven and often rode it around my neighborhood with friends. Although it was difficult to balance at first, I soon became confident and enjoyed going to the park on weekends.

提案: 답변이 반복적이고 접속사 'because'를 과도하게 사용했습니다. 간단한 주제 문장으로 시작한 뒤 한두 가지 구체적 이유(예: 교통 체증 회피, 비용 절감, 건강에 도움)를 연결어(for example, because, moreover 등)로 자연스럽게 제시하세요. 어휘도 다양하게 바꿔 표현하면 더 좋습니다.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, many people use them to avoid traffic and save money on transport. Moreover, cycling is convenient for short trips and it’s also good exercise.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child because I usually rode a bike and my free time in weekend, so it's pre. It was pretty hard for me because I was very young, but it's very nice.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child because I usually rode it in my free time on weekends. It was pretty hard for me because I was very young, but it was very nice.

The sentence mixes past and present incorrectly and has wrong prepositions and article use. Use past tense consistently when talking about childhood: 'had', 'rode', 'was'. Replace 'my free time in weekend' with 'in my free time on weekends' for correct preposition and plural. 'so it's pre' is unclear and likely unnecessary, remove it. Change 'it's very nice' to 'it was very nice' to maintain past tense consistency. Suggestions: keep tense consistent, use 'in my free time' and 'on weekends', and use pronoun 'it' to avoid repetition.

× Yeah, well, because I think bike is popular in my country, because a bike is very useful transportation, because I can ride a bike whenever I want and so fast.

✓ Yeah, well, I think bikes are popular in my country because they are a very useful form of transportation; I can ride a bike whenever I want and travel quickly.

Use plural 'bikes' when speaking generally about popularity and ensure subject-verb agreement: 'bikes are'. 'A bike is very useful transportation' needs an article and a noun phrase: 'a very useful form of transportation' or use plural 'they are very useful transportation' is incorrect. Replace 'so fast' with 'travel quickly' for clearer adverbial use. Remove redundant 'because' repetitions for smoother sentence flow. Suggestions: use plural for general statements, correct noun phrase for 'transportation', and maintain concise connectors.