Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, natural, and correct minor grammar and capitalization errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundant phrases (e.g., “I did not really have a bike” and “I did not have a bike” repeat the same idea). Use correct terms and punctuation (e.g., “four-wheelers,” “road safety,” and consistent capitalization).

例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child. My family owned a car, so they preferred to drive us everywhere; moreover, they were cautious about road safety and thought two-wheelers were too risky for children.

提案: Make the response more natural and specific. Use a clear topic sentence, then give one or two concrete reasons or examples, linked logically. Avoid awkward phrasing like “spaces which cannot be discovered by cars” and unnecessary repetition. Replace vague words with concrete details (e.g., ‘short commutes,’ ‘narrow streets,’ ‘cheap fuel’).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many people use motorcycles for short commutes because they are cheaper and can navigate narrow, crowded streets more easily than cars.

× No, I did not have a bike when I was a child because my family always had four Wheelers which include a car and I did not really have a bike.

✓ No, I did not have a bike when I was a child because my family always had four-wheelers, which included a car, so I did not really need a bike.

Errors: 'four Wheelers' should be 'four-wheelers' (compound noun, lowercase) and needs an article/consistent plural form; 'which include' should agree in tense and number with 'four-wheelers' -> 'which included'; sentence run-on: use punctuation and a conjunction ('so') to connect clauses. Suggestion: use hyphenation for compound nouns, match verb tense with surrounding past tense, and break long sentences into clear clauses.

× Also because my family was a little bit cautious when it came to Rd. safety and they think that two Wheelers are not that safe.

✓ Also, my family was a little cautious about road safety, and they thought that two-wheelers were not very safe.

Problems: 'Also because' creates a fragment; use 'Also,' or 'Also, because' with structure. 'Rd.' is an inappropriate abbreviation; write 'road'. 'two Wheelers' should be 'two-wheelers' lowercase and hyphenated. Verb tense: main sentence is past -> 'they think' should be 'they thought'. Adverb choice: 'not that safe' -> 'not very safe' is more natural. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense, avoid abbreviations, hyphenate compound vehicle terms, and use proper connectors.

× Yes, bikes are quite popular in our country.

✓ Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country.

'Our country' is not a grammatical error per se but may be better as 'my country' in this speaker context; however core issue flagged as present tense is fine. No tense change needed. Suggestion: prefer 'my country' in personal answers.

× When we go out on the road, we see a huge number of bikes on the road, travelling in spaces which cannot be discovered by cars.

✓ When we go out on the road, we see a huge number of bikes travelling in spaces that cars cannot use.

Redundancy: 'on the road' repeated. 'travelling in spaces which cannot be discovered by cars' is awkward and uses 'discovered' incorrectly; better: 'spaces that cars cannot use' or 'spaces inaccessible to cars.' Suggestion: avoid repetition, use clearer relative clauses ('that cars cannot use'), and choose appropriate verbs ('use' or 'access' instead of 'discover').

× And there are always more number of bikes than cars or any other vehicles in our country.

✓ And there are always more bikes than cars or other vehicles in my country.

'more number of bikes' is ungrammatical; use 'more bikes' or 'a greater number of bikes'. 'any other vehicles' should be 'other vehicles'. Maintain consistency with 'my country' if used earlier. Suggestion: use correct comparative quantifiers: 'more' + noun (more bikes) or 'a greater number of' + plural noun.