Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Good content and a clear personal story. To improve, make the response slightly more concise and correct minor language slips (numbers and abbreviations). Use one cohesive topic sentence, then 1–2 supporting sentences with linking words. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., use "at first" not "at 1st") and avoid unnecessary repetition.

例: Yes, I did. My first bike was a small pink bicycle with a butterfly motif that my grandmother gave me for my first birthday. At first I felt excited but a little nervous, however my father rode beside me and encouraged me to balance, so after a few tries I finally learned to ride on my own.

提案: The answer addresses the question but is incomplete and has some coherence issues. Finish your final thought, avoid colloquial fillers like "yeah," and use linking words to structure reasons and examples. Be specific about where biking is common, and mention one consequence or comparison to strengthen the response. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I would say bikes are fairly popular in my country. Many people cycle in rural areas and in major cities to commute to work, but there are fewer dedicated bicycle lanes than ideal. As a result, cycling can be unsafe or difficult in the outskirts and on busy roads, which discourages some people from using bikes regularly.

× I remember my first bike.

✓ I remembered my first bike.

The surrounding context is past narrative about childhood (Did you have... Yes I did). To maintain consistent past tense, use 'remembered' rather than present 'remember'. Change keeps tense consistent and clearer. Suggestion: Keep the whole recollection in past tense when describing past events.

× It was the pink 1 decorated with a butterfly motif that my grandma gave me for my first birthday and I have a vivid memory of my dad riding beside me while he told me to balance.

✓ It was a pink one decorated with a butterfly motif that my grandma gave me for my first birthday, and I had a vivid memory of my dad riding beside me while he told me to balance.

Errors: 'the pink 1' uses numeral and definite article incorrectly; use 'a pink one' for an unspecified bike. Also the memory is part of past narrative so 'have' should be past 'had'. Suggestions: Use 'a' with singular non-specific nouns and maintain past tense consistency. Note: replaced '1' with 'one' and adjusted articles and tense.

× I felt excited but a little nervous at 1st and after a few tries I finally learned how to ride on my own.

✓ I felt excited but a little nervous at first, and after a few tries I finally learned how to ride on my own.

'1st' is a written ordinal numeral inappropriate in this narrative sentence; use the word 'first'. Also add a comma before the coordinating conjunction to separate clauses. Suggestion: Spell out ordinals in informal spoken sentences and punctuate coordinated clauses.

× Although there are not as many bicycle lanes as I wish, many people ride a bike in the countryside or in the main cities to go to work.

✓ Although there are not as many bicycle lanes as I would like, many people ride bikes in the countryside or in the main cities to go to work.

Use idiomatic expression 'as I would like' rather than 'as I wish'. 'Ride a bike' is acceptable but when speaking generally use plural 'ride bikes'. Suggestions: Use natural collocations and match number (plural) when speaking generally about people.

× Nevertheless, it's not easy in the outskirt because of the.

✓ Nevertheless, it's not easy in the outskirts because of the traffic/poor road conditions.

Errors: 'the outskirt' is incorrect; plural 'outskirts' is standard. The clause ends incomplete 'because of the.' so provide a complete noun phrase explaining reason (e.g., traffic or poor road conditions). Suggestion: Use 'outskirts' for the outskirts of a city and complete the causal phrase with a noun.