Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer, concise, and avoid repetitions. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct word choice (bike vs bag) and smoother phrasing will improve clarity and naturalness.

例: Yes. My mother bought me a small bicycle as a birthday gift when I was a child. It had training wheels, so I practiced in the park every weekend and learned to ride within a few months.

提案: Use correct vocabulary and grammar, speak more fluently, and organize your points with linking words. Start with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons with examples. Avoid hesitations and pronunciation errors (bike, ride, prefer).

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in China. Firstly, they are a convenient way to travel short distances in crowded cities, and secondly they are inexpensive to buy and maintain, so many people use bikes for daily commutes.

× Uh, yes, my mom bought a, bought a bag for me to practice how to ride a bike, ride a bike, uh, as a, as a birthday gift.

✓ Uh, yes, my mom bought a bike for me so I could practice how to ride it as a birthday gift.

The student used 'bought a bag' which is likely a misused noun; context requires 'bike.' Also the sentence contained redundancy and awkward phrasing ('bought a, bought a', 'ride a bike, ride a bike', 'as a, as a'). Improve clarity by using 'so I could' to express purpose and replacing repeated fragments. Keep verb forms consistent and avoid repetition. Suggestions: replace the incorrect noun with the correct one (bike), remove repeated phrases, and use a purpose clause ('so I could practice') to make the sentence natural.

× Yes, back is very popular in China, uh, cause umm, it's a very convenient way to write it back from one place to another place and is more uh, is less costly, so people are prefer user back.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in China because they are a convenient and inexpensive way to travel from one place to another, so people prefer using bikes.

Multiple errors: 'back' is a misspelling of 'bike' and singular/plural mismatches occur. 'Back is very popular' should be 'Bikes are very popular' (plural subject with plural verb). 'it's a very convenient way to write it back' contains wrong verbs and pronouns; correct wording is 'they are a convenient way to travel.' 'is more uh, is less costly' is awkward; use 'inexpensive' or 'less costly.' 'people are prefer user back' mixes verb forms and auxiliary verbs incorrectly; correct is 'people prefer using bikes' or 'people prefer bikes.' Suggestions: use correct noun 'bike/bikes', ensure subject-verb number agreement, use proper verbs ('travel' instead of 'write'), choose correct verb forms ('prefer using' or 'prefer') and simplify adjective usage ('inexpensive').