Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more accurate and natural: clarify the timeline (17 is not childhood), use appropriate verbs (ride a bike, not drive), avoid unnecessary phrases like "Thanks for reminding me," and reduce sentence repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (how you used the bike, feelings or a memory) using linking words.

例: I got my first bike when I was 17 as a gift from my father. I rode it to school and around my neighborhood almost every day, which made me feel free and independent. For example, I remember racing my friends on weekends and learning to fix a flat tire myself, which was a proud moment.

提案: Improve grammar, specificity and coherence. Use correct article use and plural forms (bikes are popular), avoid absolute words like "everyone," and link ideas with connectors (because, so, therefore). Provide specific reasons and one short example or statistic to support your point.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially among people aged 20 to 30. Because roads are often congested, many young commuters prefer bikes since they are faster and easier to park. For instance, my colleague saves about 30 minutes each day by biking to work instead of taking a car.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was 17.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

The examiner asked about childhood possession, but the original sentence says 'when I was 17', which may not match 'child'. To answer the question accurately, use 'when I was a child' or if you mean age 17, keep age consistent with 'child'. Use past tense 'had' is correct; the issue is mismatch of reference to 'child'. Suggestion: replace '17' with 'a child' if referring to childhood.

× It was my gift from my father.

✓ It was a gift from my father.

Using 'my gift' is grammatical but sounds awkward; 'a gift from my father' is the natural collocation. The article 'a' before 'gift' is preferred. Keep past tense 'was'.

× I really enjoyed it when I first drove the vehicle.

✓ I really enjoyed it when I first rode the bike.

The verb 'drive' is used for cars; for bikes use 'ride'. Also 'rode' is the correct past tense of 'ride'. 'Vehicle' is formal and unnecessary; 'bike' is clearer. This fixes verb choice and tense.

× In fact, I can feel that experience now.

✓ In fact, I can still feel that experience now.

The original is understandable but adding 'still' clarifies continuity. 'Can feel' is present tense and acceptable; improvement is stylistic rather than a strict tense error.

× Thanks for reminding me.

✓ Thanks for reminding me.

This sentence is grammatically fine; no correction needed. Kept for completeness.

× Yes, bikes are the most popular one in my country.

✓ Yes, bikes are the most popular mode of transport in my country.

Original mixes plural 'bikes' with singular 'one', which is inconsistent. Replace 'one' with 'mode of transport' or say 'the most popular' with a countable noun. This fixes agreement between plural subject and complement.

× Everyone would be traveling in bikes, especially the age category of 20 to 30.

✓ Everyone would be traveling by bike, especially people aged 20 to 30.

Use the preposition 'by' with modes of transport ('by bike'). 'Bikes' should be 'bike' in this structure. 'The age category of 20 to 30' is awkward; use 'people aged 20 to 30'.

× They need to get into the office early so having a car would make them wait in the traffic.

✓ They need to get to the office early, so having a car would make them wait in traffic.

Use 'get to the office' instead of 'get into the office'. Omit 'the' before 'traffic' unless specifying particular traffic. Comma before 'so' improves clarity. The conditional idea is fine.

× So if you have bike you can.

✓ So if you have a bike, you can.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'bike'. Add a comma and complete the sentence if needed (e.g., 'you can avoid traffic'). As is, 'you can' is vague but grammatically acceptable after adding the article.