Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the grammar correct, give a clear direct topic sentence, and add one brief supporting detail. Use past tense and avoid redundancy. Keep to at most 3–4 short sentences. For example, start with “No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child.” then add a reason or brief context with a linking word.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. Instead, I usually walked to school because my house was nearby. Also, my family couldn’t afford one at the time.

提案: Use more natural phrasing, avoid filler words (uh), and make the sentence concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific reason and an example using a linking word (because/so). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use present simple for general statements.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because traffic is often heavy. As a result, many people choose bicycles for short trips since they are faster and cheaper than driving.

× No, I do not have a bike when I was a child.

✓ No, I did not have a bike when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'do not have' with a past time reference 'when I was a child'. Use simple past 'did not have' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: use 'did not have' for past habits or states (e.g., 'When I was a child, I did not have a bike.').

× I will say yes, bikes are popular in my country because, uh, traffic here is so uh, bad.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my country because the traffic here is very bad.

Saying 'I will say yes' is unnecessary and unnatural in this context; the examiner asked a present question so give a present simple answer. Also 'so uh, bad' is informal and has filler words. Replace 'I will say yes' with simply 'Yes' and use 'very bad' for clarity. Suggestion: answer directly in present simple for general truths: 'Yes, bikes are popular because the traffic here is very bad.'

× So people use this bike instead of using cars.

✓ So people use bikes instead of cars.

'This bike' implies a specific bike, which is incorrect when speaking generally about people. Use the plural 'bikes' to refer to bicycles in general, and omit the repeated 'using' after 'instead of'. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements and simplify structure: 'people use bikes instead of cars.'