Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify tense and nouns, remove filler words, and give one or two supporting details. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a short specific detail (e.g., who gave it, what you liked about it). Keep it to 1–3 sentences and use correct vocabulary.

例: Yes, I did. My father bought me a pink bicycle when I was about seven, and I loved riding it around the neighborhood because it had a bell and a basket for my toys.

提案: Organize your answer with a clear opinion sentence, then add one or two specific reasons or comparisons using linking words (e.g., however, but, although). Correct factual errors (Swindon is a town in the UK, not Scandinavian). Avoid repetition and unfinished phrases. Keep it concise (2–3 sentences).

例: Honestly, bicycles are not very popular in my hometown in Vietnam because traffic and hilly streets make cycling difficult. However, since I moved to Swindon in the UK, I have noticed more students and commuters using bikes because the town has better cycling paths and flatter roads.

× Yes I did. I remember it's, uh, was a pink wand my father bought for me when I was young.

✓ Yes, I did. I remember it was a pink wand my father bought for me when I was young.

The phrase 'it's, uh, was' mixes present contraction 'it's' (it is/it has) with past tense 'was'. This is incorrect. Use a single past-tense verb 'was' to match the past-time context set by 'I did' and 'bought'. Also add a comma after 'Yes' and remove the filler 'uh' for clarity. Suggestion: keep tense consistent (past) and avoid combining contractions with past verbs.

× An honestly bike is not popular in my country.

✓ Honestly, bikes are not popular in my country.

The original has an article 'An' before 'honestly' and uses singular 'bike' with the adverb; this is incorrect. 'Honestly' is an adverb and should not take 'an'. The speaker refers generally to bikes (plural), so use 'bikes are'. Also place the adverb at the start followed by a comma: 'Honestly, bikes are not popular in my country.'

× I come from Vietnam.

✓ I come from Vietnam.

This sentence is grammatically correct and fits the context, so no change is needed. It correctly uses present simple to state origin.

× However now I move to Swindon which is a Scandinavian countries and is also famous for students.

✓ However, now I have moved to Swindon, which is in a Scandinavian country and is also popular with students.

There are multiple issues: 'now I move to Swindon' is awkward—use present perfect 'have moved' to indicate a recent change of location. 'Which is a Scandinavian countries' mixes singular and plural; use 'in a Scandinavian country' or identify the correct region. 'Famous for students' is unnatural; use 'popular with students'. Also add commas for clarity.

× So like it's it's famous for like.

✓ So, it's famous for that.

The original contains filler words 'like' repeated and the contraction 'it's it's' doubled, resulting in ungrammatical repetition. Replace fillers with a concise phrase that conveys meaning, e.g. 'So, it's famous for that.' This removes redundancy and clarifies the thought.