Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar and pronouns, and organise ideas into one clear topic sentence with one or two supporting details. Use linking words (for example, “and”, “so”, “or”) correctly, avoid repetition, and limit to about 2–4 sentences. Also correct verb forms (bought, liked, cycled) and possessives (my parents).

例: Yes. My parents bought me a bike as a birthday gift when I was a child, and I often rode it around our garden in the evenings and mornings. I also used it to cycle to the local store to buy snacks, which was convenient and fun.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons using correct grammar and linking words (for example, “because”, “so”, “therefore”). Avoid filler sounds like “mmm” and wordiness. Use comparative forms correctly (cheaper) and avoid repeating words (petrol/petroleum).

例: Yes, bikes are still quite popular in my country because they are cheap and easy to maintain. For many workers, bicycles are the most affordable way to commute, and they do not require petrol, so they save money on daily travel.

× Yes, my parent bought me a bike for my birthday gift and I I would like to help her cycling during evening or morning, around the garden and everywhere.

✓ Yes, my parents bought me a bike as a birthday gift, and I would like to help her by cycling in the evening or morning around the garden and nearby areas.

The original uses 'parent' but likely means both parents, so use plural 'parents' or keep 'my parent' only if singular; 'birthday gift' is more natural as 'a birthday gift' or 'as a birthday gift'; double 'I' is a typo and must be removed; 'help her cycling' is incorrect structure — use 'help her by cycling' or 'help her to cycle'; 'during evening or morning' should be 'in the evening or morning'; 'everywhere' is too vague in this context, change to 'nearby areas' or 'around the garden'. Suggestion: check for plural meaning and fix prepositions and verb patterns.

× Or I would like to cycling use my bike to cycle to ma to the store to buy some snacks.

✓ Or I would like to use my bike to cycle to the store to buy some snacks.

The phrase 'would like to' should be followed by the base form of the verb ('use'), not the -ing form ('cycling'). 'Ma' appears to be an error and should be removed. Redundant 'use my bike to cycle' is acceptable but keep it concise: 'use my bike to cycle to the store.' Suggestion: after 'would like to' always use the base verb; remove extraneous words.

× MMM yeah, exactly before this, but it's quite popular in my country and also there are many workers will having a bike as the bike is the cheaper, the cheapest transport for them and no need to like add any petrol petroleum at all.

✓ Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. Many workers have a bike because it is the cheapest form of transport for them and they do not need to add petrol.

The original mixes tenses and contains incorrect verb forms: 'there are many workers will having' is ungrammatical — use 'many workers have' or 'many workers will have' depending on meaning; 'the bike is the cheaper, the cheapest transport' is redundant and awkward — use 'it is the cheapest form of transport.' 'No need to like add any petrol petroleum' is informal and repetitive; correct to 'they do not need to add petrol.' Suggestion: use simple present to state general facts ('bikes are popular', 'workers have'), ensure subject-verb agreement and avoid redundant words like 'like' and duplicate terms 'petrol petroleum'.