Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, grammatical and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. For example, say when you got the bike, who it belonged to, and how you felt or used it.

例: Yes. I had a bike when I was a child; it originally belonged to my older brother, who later gave it to me as a present. I used it every day to ride to my friends’ houses and felt very proud to have it.

提案: Answer the question directly with a clear opinion, then support it with specific reasons and examples. Use linking words (For example, However, Because, Also) to make your response coherent. Keep answers concise (max 4–5 sentences) and avoid filler words and repetition.

例: Yes, bikes are fairly popular in my country because many people use them for short trips and exercise. For example, families often ride together on weekends, and students commonly cycle to school, especially in smaller towns where traffic is lighter.

× Yeah, when I was child, I had one bike before.

✓ Yeah, when I was a child, I had one bike.

Missing the article 'a' before the singular noun 'child' is a singular/plural article issue. Use 'a child' to indicate one unit. Also 'before' is unnecessary in this context and can be removed for clarity.

× Bike is original.

✓ The bike is original.

Omitting the definite article 'the' before a specific noun is incorrect. Use 'the bike' to refer to the particular bike already mentioned. 'Original' may be unclear but grammatically requires 'the'.

× It's my brothers.

✓ It's my brother's.

The student used the plural noun 'brothers' incorrectly. If indicating possession by one brother, use the possessive form 'brother's'. If they meant multiple brothers owned it, use 'my brothers''. The contraction 'It's' (it is) plus a possessive noun is a mismatch; use 'It's my brother's' meaning 'It belongs to my brother.'

× And then he gave me two presents.

✓ And then he gave me two presents.

This sentence is grammatically correct. It uses pronouns and verb tense appropriately, so no change is needed. Included here to acknowledge it matches the allowed error list (none).

× I'm not sure because, uh, I use it to, umm, I, I ride a bike, ride a bike and uh, uh, sometimes, uh, my mom and my mom and, uh, with my brothers and, but now, uh, frequently.

✓ I'm not sure because I used to ride a bike, sometimes with my mom and my brothers, but not very often now.

The original has fragmented repetition, tense confusion and unclear sequencing. 'I use it to' is incorrect for past habitual action—use 'I used to ride a bike.' Redundant phrases were removed and participants clarified: 'with my mom and my brothers.' 'But now frequently' contradicted earlier phrasing; changed to 'but not very often now' to match 'I'm not sure' and indicate reduced frequency. This correction addresses sentence structure, tense consistency and clarity.