Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and grammatically correct: give a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms, and concise supporting details. Avoid redundant phrases and keep to 2–4 sentences. Add linking words for coherence. For example, say who gave the bike, when, how you used it, and one reason it was enjoyable. Correct mistakes: use past tense consistently (bought, used), and avoid vague phrases like "make me go and have a lot of activities to make."

例: Yes — my father bought me a bicycle when I was twelve. I used it to ride to school and to visit friends in the afternoons, which made me more active and independent. Because cycling was cheap and convenient, I rode almost every day and really enjoyed the freedom it gave me.

提案: Answer the question directly about current popularity, or clarify you are speaking about the past. Use clear topic sentence, correct tense and precise vocabulary (e.g., "popular", "common", "widely used"). Provide one or two specific reasons or examples and link ideas (e.g., "because", "so"). Remove filler words and repetition.

例: Bicycles are still quite popular in my country, especially in smaller towns and among students. For example, many pupils ride to school because bikes are affordable and convenient, so they remain a common mode of transport in daily life.

× Yes, my father.

✓ Yes, my father did.

The student replied to a yes/no question with an incomplete fragment 'Yes, my father.' This lacks a verb and proper pronoun use for the short answer. In English, short answers to 'Did you have...' require an auxiliary verb (did) and optionally the subject: 'Yes, my father did.' Suggestion: use the auxiliary verb for past simple short answers (Yes/No + did/didn't + subject if needed).

× When I was just 12 years old my father bought me a bike and uses to go to school and it's very fun and make me go and have a lot of activities to make.

✓ When I was just 12 years old my father bought me a bike and I used to go to school on it; it was a lot of fun and made me go out and do many activities.

Multiple tense and form errors: 'uses to' is incorrect; the correct phrase for past habitual actions is 'used to.' The clause 'it's very fun' should be in past tense 'it was a lot of fun' to match 'bought' and the time reference. 'make me go and have a lot of activities to make' is ungrammatical; use 'made me go out and do many activities.' Suggestion: keep verbs consistent in past tense for past events and use 'used to' for habitual past actions; use clear verbs ('go out', 'do activities').

× Back then when I was 12 years old, uh, bike is very fulfiller and we enjoy it and we, we are very excited every time we rode a bike after finishing our class in the afternoon.

✓ Back then, when I was 12 years old, bikes were very rewarding and we enjoyed them; we were very excited every time we rode a bike after finishing our classes in the afternoon.

Tense inconsistency and number agreement: 'bike is' should be plural 'bikes were' to match general reference to bicycles and past time 'back then.' 'fulfiller' is not correct English; use 'rewarding' or 'fun.' 'we enjoy it' should be past 'we enjoyed them' to match past context. 'we are very excited' should be past 'we were very excited.' Also 'class' should be plural 'classes' if referring generally. Suggestion: maintain past tense throughout when describing past experiences, match singular/plural nouns with verbs, and use appropriate adjectives.