Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using correct tense and smoother linking. Avoid fillers (uh, um) and repetition.

例: Yes. I had a pink bike when I was about ten. My parents bought it for me and showed me how to balance and pedal, and I learned to ride in our neighborhood park within a few weeks.

提案: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with two specific reasons linked clearly. Use plural forms correctly and avoid hesitations. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' to make the logic clear.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are an affordable and convenient way to travel short to medium distances. For example, many people cycle to work or school to avoid traffic, and bicycles are also common for exercise and leisure.

× Yeah, of course. Uh, when I like about 10 years old, uh, my parents bought me a bike, a pink bike, and they teach me how they taught me how to ride a bike.

✓ Yeah, of course. When I was about 10 years old, my parents bought me a pink bike and taught me how to ride it.

This sentence has several tense and structure problems. 'When I like about 10 years old' should be 'When I was about 10 years old' (present tense issue / incorrect verb form for past time). 'They teach me how they taught me how to ride a bike' mixes present and past and repeats the clause; it should use the past tense 'taught' and avoid repetition. Also use the pronoun 'it' to refer to 'bike' for conciseness. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for events in the past and avoid redundant phrases.

× Well, of course, definitely, because umm, it can help us to go somewhere a little bit far, but umm, we cannot get there by walk or we need to drive.

✓ Well, of course. Definitely, because it can help us get to places that are a bit far, when we cannot walk there or would otherwise need to drive.

This sentence has tense and phrasing issues. 'help us to go somewhere a little bit far' is awkward; use 'help us get to places that are a bit far' (present tense usage with correct collocation). 'we cannot get there by walk' is incorrect preposition and noun use; use 'we cannot walk there' (incorrect use of prepositions and verb collocation). 'or we need to drive' mixes ideas; better expressed as 'or would otherwise need to drive' for clarity and parallel structure. Suggestion: use natural collocations (get to, walk there) and keep parallel structure when contrasting alternatives.