Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally natural and relevant, but it's slightly long and a little awkward in structure. Begin with a concise topic sentence directly answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use clearer linking words (for example, “so” or “because”) and avoid redundant phrases like “feeling of being refreshed.” Also keep sentences simple and varied to stay within the 5-sentence guideline.

例: Yes, I did. I often rode my bike after school with a group of friends in the playground of my hometown because it helped us relax and keep fit. We would race or explore nearby streets, and I especially enjoyed the freedom it gave me.

提案: Your answer addresses the question and gives reasons, but it ends abruptly and uses informal phrases like “a bunch of people.” Complete your sentence and replace casual expressions with more appropriate vocabulary (for example, “many people” or “a lot of commuters”). Use one linking word to connect reason and result, and add a brief specific example or statistic if possible.

例: Yes, definitely. In Korea electric bikes have become a popular mode of transport, especially for short commutes, because they are convenient and economical. For example, many office workers use them to travel the last mile from subway stations to their workplaces.

× Especially after school, a group of children just gathered in the playground of my hometown since it gave us a feeling of being refreshed and helped to exercise.

✓ Especially after school, a group of children would just gather in the playground of my hometown because it gave us a feeling of refreshment and helped us exercise.

The original uses 'gathered' (past simple) with 'especially after school' describing habitual past action; using 'would gather' or 'used to gather' is more appropriate for habitual past. 'Since' is better replaced by 'because' for giving a reason. 'a feeling of being refreshed' is wordy; 'a feeling of refreshment' or 'feeling refreshed' is clearer. Also add 'us' after 'helped' to show the object of the verb. To improve: use habitual past construction (would/used to) for repeated past actions, choose 'because' for causal clauses, and ensure objects after verbs like 'helped'. Use: 'Especially after school, a group of children would just gather in the playground of my hometown because it gave us a feeling of refreshment and helped us exercise.'

× So I can see a bunch of people are using them to commute to work or even meet their friends to hang out because it's really convenient, economical and.

✓ So I can see a bunch of people using them to commute to work or even meet their friends to hang out because they are really convenient and economical.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'and.' Also it mixes 'are using' and 'to commute' unnecessarily; use 'using' plus gerunds for parallel structure. Replace the pronoun 'it' with 'they' to agree in number with 'electric bikes.' Ensure the list is complete by finishing 'convenient and economical.' To improve: maintain parallel verb forms, match pronouns to their antecedents (plural), and avoid sentence fragments by completing lists.