Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clarity, correct grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and pronouns, avoid repetition, and keep answers within 2–4 sentences. Use linking words (for example, "so", "when", "because") to connect ideas and provide one specific detail or short example. Also correct common errors: say "when I was young" (not "high"), use past tense consistently ("he lent me his bike"), and avoid repeating words.

例: Yes. My dad bought me a bike when I was young, and he also bought one for my brother. When my bike broke down, my brother lent me his bike so I could still ride to school. I remember we often rode together on weekends.

提案: Give a clear direct opinion first, then support it with a specific reason or example. Use correct grammar and vocabulary ("depend on" needs an object: "depends on"; "bike" not "bite"). Keep sentences concise and use linking words like "however", "because", or "for example" to connect thoughts. Avoid filler phrases like "I'm not sure" unless followed by a reasoned guess.

例: I think bikes are quite popular, especially among children. For example, most of the kids in my neighborhood ride bikes to school and play outside, because bicycles are affordable and good for short trips.

× Absolutely, my dad bought me a bike when I was high and he also bought bought one for my brother.

✓ Absolutely, my dad bought me a bike when I was young and he also bought one for my brother.

The sentence contains a wrong word 'high' which should be 'young' to refer to childhood; this is a lexical error rather than tense, but the structure uses past tense correctly with 'bought'. Also there is a duplicated word 'bought bought' which must be removed. Suggestion: use 'when I was young' and remove duplicate verbs to make the past action clear.

× Whenever I my bike broke my brother he will lend me.

✓ Whenever my bike broke, my brother would lend it to me.

The original sentence has missing and misplaced words and incorrect tense consistency. 'Whenever I my bike broke my brother he will lend me' lacks a clear subject/possessive and mixes past event ('broke') with future 'will lend'. For habitual past events use past habitual 'would lend'. Also use correct object pronoun placement ('lend it to me'). Suggestion: reorder to 'Whenever my bike broke, my brother would lend it to me.'

× He lend me he so.

✓ He lent it to me, too.

This sentence has incorrect tense and word order. 'Lend' is present tense; for past reference use 'lent'. The pronoun usage is incorrect: 'me he so' is ungrammatical. Use 'it' to refer to the bike and 'too' for 'also'. Suggestion: 'He lent it to me, too.'

× I'm not sure about it but I think it's depend on people but the majority of children I I saw they have a bite almost everyone.

✓ I'm not sure, but I think it depends on people; however, the majority of children I saw had a bike—almost everyone.

Multiple problems: 'it's depend' is incorrect verb form and subject-verb agreement; use 'it depends'. Repetition 'I I' should be one 'I'. 'have a bite' contains misspelling 'bite' instead of 'bike'. Tense inconsistency: 'I saw' is past, so the observation about children should use past 'had a bike'. Also sentence run-on needs punctuation. Suggestion: 'I'm not sure, but I think it depends on people; however, the majority of children I saw had a bike, almost everyone.'