Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, grammatical and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, correct pronoun use (they'd → I had / we had), and avoid repetition. Add one brief supporting detail (e.g., who gave it and how you used it) with a linking word. Keep to no more than 3–4 short sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a red bicycle that my uncle gifted me for my eighth birthday. Because it was lightweight, I rode it to school and around the neighborhood every day.

提案: Be more concise and use natural collocations (e.g., 'mode of transport' not 'mode of communication'). Use linking words to structure reasons (e.g., 'because', 'therefore'). Provide one or two specific examples or statistics if possible. Avoid wordy phrases and repetition.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are an affordable and convenient mode of transport. For example, many families own at least one bicycle, and people often use them to commute to work or the local market because they save money and avoid traffic.

× Yes I did and they'd have a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did, and I had a bike when I was a child.

The original uses 'they'd' which is a contraction for 'they would' or 'they had' and does not match the subject 'I'. This is a pronoun/verb mismatch and a tense clarity issue. Replace with 'I had' to match first person past simple. Also add commas for clarity.

× Bikes are actually extremely popular in my country as they are seen as a cheaper, more easy way and mode of communication and it is widely available in most of the households and is considered a great way of commuting and an investment for the family.

✓ Bikes are extremely popular in my country because they are seen as a cheaper, easier mode of transport; they are widely available in most households and are considered a good way to commute and an investment for the family.

Multiple issues: 'more easy' is incorrect comparative form: use 'easier' (adjective form). 'Way and mode of communication' is awkward; 'mode of transport' or 'way to travel/commute' fits better. Subject-verb agreement: replace 'it is widely available' with 'they are widely available' because 'bikes' is plural. Also streamline repetition and use appropriate collocations: 'commute' and 'investment'. Use semicolon or shorter sentences to avoid run-on structure.