Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, tense consistency and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct articles and word choice (e.g. "privileged" → "underprivileged" or "not well-off"). Avoid redundancy and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my family was not well-off and we couldn’t afford one. However, I always felt excited when I saw other children riding bikes, and I sometimes borrowed a neighbour’s bike to ride around the street.

提案: Focus on clearer structure and accurate vocabulary. Begin with a concise topic sentence about popularity, then give specific reasons with linking words (for example, cost, traffic, punctuality). Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles) and avoid repeating the same idea.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country. For example, many office and hospital workers use bikes because they are cheap and help them navigate heavy traffic, so people can arrive on time.

× No we don't have a bike when I'm child because we are from a very on the privileged family so we can't afford bike.

✓ No, we didn't have a bike when I was a child because we were from a very underprivileged family so we couldn't afford a bike.

Tense consistency: question asked about the past, so use past simple ('didn't have', 'was', 'were', 'couldn't'). Article and noun: include 'a' before 'bike'. Word choice and adjective placement: 'underprivileged' instead of 'on the privileged' and place it directly before 'family'. Also add commas and correct contractions for clarity. Suggested improvement: Use past simple for past situations and check articles and adjective selection.

× But whenever I saw others bike I'm really excited and happy.

✓ But whenever I saw others' bikes I was really excited and happy.

Possessive and plural: refer to 'others' possessions' using others' and plural 'bikes'. Tense consistency: the main clause is past ('saw'), so the result clause should also be past ('was'). Using present 'I'm' is incorrect. Also use plural 'bikes' and possessive 'others''. Suggested improvement: Match tenses within the same time frame and use correct possessive and plural forms.

× Yes, I think bikes are very predominant in our country because everyone who are working on the office, hospital, bank, they all have bike because of the punctuality.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very common in our country because everyone who works in offices, hospitals, and banks has a bike because of punctuality.

Subject-verb agreement and singular/plural: 'everyone' is singular and needs 'works', but the relative clause refers to multiple workplaces so better use plural nouns 'offices, hospitals, and banks'. Prepositions and article use: use 'in' rather than 'on the office' and include plural forms. Also 'have bike' needs 'has a bike' for singular subject or rephrase to 'they have bikes'. Word choice: 'predominant' is awkward; 'common' is more natural. Suggested improvement: Ensure subject-verb agreement, correct prepositions, and consistent pluralization.

× I believe from my perspective, bikes are popular.

✓ I believe, from my perspective, bikes are popular.

This sentence is mostly correct grammatically; the issue is punctuation and redundancy. 'I believe from my perspective' is repetitive. Correction adds commas for clarity. Suggested improvement: Remove redundancy: say 'I believe bikes are popular' or 'From my perspective, bikes are popular.'