Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on correct tense, clear nouns, and concise structure. Start with a direct topic sentence (past tense), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (um, uh). Use precise vocabulary (ride, stroll, fresh air) and correct grammar (I had a bike; I would ride it).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I rode it almost every day to explore my neighborhood, and it was a great way to get some fresh air and exercise.

提案: Begin with a clear opinion sentence, then give one or two specific reasons or examples using linking words (for example, because, so). Use correct sentence structure and vocabulary (popular, people, neighborhoods, commute). Avoid repetition and vague phrases.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many people use bicycles to commute short distances because it is cheap and healthy, and riding around neighborhoods is a common way to enjoy fresh air.

× I do have a **** when I'm a child because I usually, umm, walking by around the city and get some fresher.

✓ I had a **** when I was a child because I usually walked around the city and got some fresh air.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. The context 'when I was a child' requires past tense. Change 'do have' to 'had' and 'I'm' to 'I was'. 'Walking by around' is incorrect verb form and preposition use: use the past simple 'walked' and 'around the city'. 'Get some fresher' is ungrammatical and uses wrong adjective and form; use 'got some fresh air'. Also remove filler words like 'umm' for clarity.

× I do things by our populate my country because of most most of people usually go around for neighborhood by using a bike and have a good house while get some fresh air.

✓ People in my country do this because most people usually ride bikes around their neighborhood and get fresh air.

The original sentence has incorrect pronouns and word choices: 'our populate my country' is ungrammatical; replace with 'People in my country'. 'Do things by' is unclear; use 'do this' or 'ride bikes'. 'Most most of people' is redundant; use 'most people'. 'Go around for neighborhood by using a bike' has wrong prepositions and verb forms; use 'ride bikes around their neighborhood'. 'Have a good house while get some fresh air' mixes ideas and has tense/structure errors; likely intended meaning is they 'get fresh air' while riding, so use 'and get fresh air'.