Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid vague phrasing like "not that real bike"; instead specify what you mean (for example, "a small balance bike or a toy tricycle"). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words if you add more information.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was about ten. However, it wasn’t a full-size bicycle; it was a small toy bike with training wheels, which I used to ride around the courtyard until I grew bigger.

提案: Give a clear opinion, then support it with specific, relevant reasons or examples. Avoid unrelated brand names of cars/motorbikes and unclear phrases. Use linking words (for example, "because", "for example", "moreover") and keep sentences concise. Mention concrete evidence such as commuting habits, bike lanes, cycling events, or sales statistics.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many people use them for short commutes and exercise. For example, recent city initiatives have added bike lanes and weekend cycling events attract hundreds of participants, which shows the growing interest in cycling.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was 10 years old, but not that real bike. I had a toy bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was 10 years old, but it was not a real bike. It was a toy bike.

The original sentence uses awkward phrasing 'not that real bike.' This is a sentence structure and word choice issue within past tense context. Use 'it was not a real bike' to clearly refer back to 'a bike' and maintain past-tense consistency. Suggestion: replace informal or unclear fragments with a full clause ('it was not a real bike') and repeat the verb 'was' for clarity.

× Yes, I think that bikes are very much popular in my country as outside my building there is a BMW, there is a Ducati that has been parked many bikers.

✓ Yes, I think that bikes are very popular in my country. Outside my building there are a BMW and a Ducati, and many bikers have parked there.

Multiple issues: 'very much popular' is incorrect collocation; use 'very popular' (adjective use). The clause 'outside my building there is a BMW, there is a Ducati' requires plural agreement 'there are' when listing multiple items. 'that has been parked many bikers' is ungrammatical: bikers park vehicles, so use 'many bikers have parked there' or 'many bikers park there.' Suggestion: use correct collocations ('very popular'), ensure subject-verb agreement when listing plural subjects ('there are'), and express agent and action correctly ('many bikers have parked there').

× Nowadays there is a huge trend in current scenario of biking so many uh.

✓ Nowadays there is a huge trend in biking, so many people are taking it up.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and redundant ('nowadays' and 'current' both indicate time) and ends incomplete ('so many uh'). This is a sentence structure and clarity problem. Replace redundant phrases with a single time marker ('Nowadays'), state the trend clearly ('huge trend in biking'), and complete the consequence or result with a proper clause ('so many people are taking it up'). Suggestion: avoid filler words, remove redundancy, and finish the thought with a clear main clause.