Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use natural verbs and a clearer structure. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid redundant words like “in color” and use more natural verb choices (e.g., “ride” not “drive”).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was bright red, and I loved riding it to my friends’ houses and around the neighborhood every afternoon.

提案: Organize your reply with a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting reasons. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., “ride” or “cycle”) and avoid repetition. Use linking words such as “because” or “for example” to make your answer coherent. Correct grammar: remove duplicated words and fix tense or phrasing issues.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people cycle for exercise and to avoid traffic. For example, I often see groups of commuters and fitness cyclists on the main roads in the morning.

× Yes, I actually did have a bike when I was young. It was red in color and I used to like driving it everywhere.

✓ Yes, I actually had a bike when I was young. It was red and I used to ride it everywhere.

Issues: unnecessary auxiliary 'did' (past simple already expressed by 'had'), redundant phrasing 'red in color' (wordy), wrong verb 'driving' for bicycles (use 'ride'). Suggestion: use simple past 'had' for possession, use concise adjective 'red', and use the correct verb 'ride' for bicycles to be idiomatic.

× Bikes are used everywhere nowadays in our country and now people people have tend to circle for health and yes, I think people will really love doing it.

✓ Bicycles are used everywhere nowadays in our country, and people tend to ride them for exercise. Yes, I think many people enjoy doing that.

Problems corrected: duplicate word 'people people' (remove repetition). 'Have tend to' is ungrammatical; correct phrase is 'tend to' followed by base verb. 'Circle' is the wrong verb for riding; use 'ride' or 'cycle' and 'for exercise' or 'for health' as prepositional phrase. 'Bikes' replaced by 'bicycles' (style) and pronoun 'them' clarifies object. Final sentence: 'will really love' changed to 'enjoy' to match present-tense general statement. Suggestions: eliminate duplications, use 'tend to' + base verb, choose correct verb for activity, and keep tense consistent for general facts.