Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear with tense and avoid repetition. Start with a direct topic sentence (past tense), then give concise supporting details using linking words and specific information. Reduce fillers (uh, I) and unnecessary repetition. For example, mention who owned the bikes, how often you used them, and include a brief reason or memory to enrich the answer.

例: No, I didn’t have my own bike when I was a child. However, my neighbor ran a small rental service, so I often rented a bike from them for about 5 pesos. I used it most weekends to ride to the park with my friends, which was one of my favorite childhood activities.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and examples, while avoiding repetition. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) to make your response coherent. Use correct vocabulary (cyclists) and vary your expressions to show range.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are an inexpensive and convenient way to travel, especially in crowded cities. For example, many commuters cycle to work to avoid traffic and save on fuel, and some cities have added bike lanes to encourage cycling.

× No, I don't have a bike when I was a child I uh, I, but I used to, I have a neighbor that they have, they have rental bikes. So I, I rented it for 5 pesos.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I used to have a neighbor who had rental bikes, so I rented one for 5 pesos.

This sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. The question asks about the past, so use past simple: 'didn't have' not 'don't have'. Use 'used to' to indicate past habitual situations and change 'I have a neighbor that they have' to 'I used to have a neighbor who had' for correct reference and verb form. Also 'rented it' is unclear; 'rented one' refers back to 'a bike'. Suggestions: consistently use past tense for past events, replace informal filler words, and use 'who' for people rather than 'that'.

× Oh yes, there's so many bikers or cyclers, I don't know what they call it, but there's so many people using bikes here because it is convenient to them and they also, they also avoid traffic. They can also avoid traffic.

✓ Oh yes, there are so many cyclists; I don't know what they call them, but many people use bikes here because they are convenient for them and they can avoid traffic.

'There's' is singular and should be 'there are' with plural 'many bikers'. 'Cyclers' is less natural than 'cyclists'. 'It' is incorrect when referring to 'cyclists' or 'people' — use 'them'. Use present simple 'use' for habitual fact: 'many people use bikes'. 'It is convenient to them' should be 'they are convenient for them' or 'bikes are convenient for them'. Removed repetition 'they also, they also' and the redundant final sentence. Suggestions: ensure subject-verb agreement with 'there are', choose natural nouns ('cyclists'), match pronouns to their antecedents, and avoid repetition.