Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak more clearly and directly. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question (yes/no), then add one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense and simple grammar (e.g., "I didn't have a bike" or "I had a bicycle"). Avoid repetition and unrelated words. Use linking words (for example, "but" or "so") if you add reasons or a brief example.

例: I didn’t have a motorbike when I was a child, but I did have a simple bicycle. For example, I used to ride it to my friend’s house every afternoon, and I remember practicing balancing in the park until I felt confident.

提案: Be concise and precise. Begin with a clear opinion sentence (e.g., "Yes, bikes are very popular"). Then give two specific reasons or one reason and an example, connected with linking words (for example, "because" or "for instance"). Avoid filler words like "uh" and finish your sentence with a complete idea (e.g., mention what the law concerns).

例: Yes, bikes and motorcycles are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for short trips. For instance, many students and young people commute by bike, and recently the government introduced a helmet law to improve road safety.

× In my old childhood days I not remember him that I have the wife.

✓ When I was a child, I do not remember having a wife.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and incorrect pronoun use ('him' is wrong) and wrong verb form. This is a sentence structure issue: 'In my old childhood days' is awkward; use 'When I was a child'. Negative 'not remember' needs do-support in present ('do not remember') or past ('did not remember'). The clause about 'have a wife' should use the gerund 'having' after 'remember' if speaking generally. Suggestion: choose the correct tense (When I was a child, I did not remember having a wife) if referring to past memory; or 'I do not remember having a wife' if speaking now about memory of that time.

× I think I don't have a bike when I was there.

✓ I think I didn't have a bike when I was there.

The sentence mixes present tense ('I think I don't have') with a past time marker ('when I was there'). This is a tense inconsistency: use past tense throughout. Use 'didn't have' to match 'when I was there'. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense: 'I think I didn't have a bike when I was there.'

× I feel that only bicycle I have to ride and play play bicycle in the childhood days I have.

✓ I feel that the only thing I had to ride and play with in my childhood was a bicycle.

This sentence has multiple structural problems: wrong word order, repeated word 'play', and incorrect verb forms. It should use past tense ('had') to match 'childhood', and 'play with' is the correct collocation. 'The only thing I had to ride and play with' clarifies meaning. Suggestion: simplify and order elements logically: subject + verb + object, and use 'bicycle' with appropriate articles and prepositions.

× Of course, uh, my country is very popular, uh, with bikes and, uh, motorcycles, uh, for example, uh, students and, uh, teenagers often use, uh, bikes and even, uh, the government put a new law regarding for.

✓ Of course, bikes and motorcycles are very popular in my country; for example, students and teenagers often use them, and the government has even introduced a new law about them.

The original uses 'my country is very popular with bikes' which is awkward; popularity applies to bikes, not the country. This is an adjective/adverb and collocation issue: use 'bikes and motorcycles are popular in my country' or 'my country is very fond of bikes'. Also 'regarding for' is incorrect preposition use; use 'about' or 'regarding'. Use present perfect 'has introduced' for a recent action with present relevance. Suggestion: rephrase to place the adjective with the correct subject and use proper prepositions: 'bikes and motorcycles are very popular in my country... the government has even introduced a new law about them.'