Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify meaning and stay on topic. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question (e.g., “No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child.”). Then give concise, relevant reasons using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid unrelated or confusing words (the student said “boyfriend” and mixed up grammar). Use 2–3 supporting sentences with specific information (who in the family, financial reason, how you traveled).

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. My family had limited money because we had to pay for my siblings' education, so they couldn't afford one. As a result, I usually walked to school and helped with household chores instead.

提案: Begin with a direct answer, then use linking words to add contrast and reasons. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles) and avoid vague abbreviations like “Rd.” Be specific about who restricts riding and give an example or brief statistic if possible. Keep to 2–3 supporting sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. However, many parents, especially in Asian communities, do not allow their children to ride motorcycles before they turn 18 because of frequent road accidents. For example, schools often advise students to use public transport or walk to reduce the risk.

× No I didn't have a boyfriend, I was a child where two siblings.

✓ No, I didn't have a bicycle; I was a child and had two siblings.

The original sentence uses incorrect noun 'boyfriend' instead of 'bicycle' (context: bike question) and ungrammatical structure 'I was a child where two siblings.' Replace with 'I was a child and had two siblings.' to correctly link ideas and use the correct object. Also add a comma after 'No' and a semicolon or conjunction to join clauses. Suggestion: ensure the noun matches context and use 'and had' to indicate possession of siblings.

× Also our education costs are to I that's why my family couldn't afford bike at that time.

✓ Also, because our education costs were high for me, my family couldn't afford a bike at that time.

The phrase 'education costs are to I' is ungrammatical. Use 'for me' to show who the costs applied to, and use 'were high' to describe past state. 'Afford bike' needs an article: 'a bike.' Suggestion: place time reference and reason at start with 'because' and use correct article and adjective 'high.'

× So we are usually walk for our school and others work.

✓ So we usually walked to school and to other places for work.

The sentence mixes present 'are usually' with base verb 'walk' and misses preposition 'to.' The context is past (when child) so use past tense 'walked.' Use 'to school' and 'to other places for work' to clarify destinations. Suggestion: match tense and include appropriate prepositions.

× Bikes are very popular in our country, but Asian countries parents normally does not allow their children to use it before 18 years because there are so many Rd. accidents related to the bike, so they think that it is a risk.

✓ Bikes are very popular in our country, but parents in Asian countries normally do not allow their children to use them before age 18 because there are so many road accidents involving bikes, so they think it is risky.

Multiple errors: 'Asian countries parents' needs reordering to 'parents in Asian countries.' 'Does not' should be 'do not' to agree with plural 'parents' (subject-verb agreement). 'Use it' should be 'use them' because 'bikes' is plural, or refer to 'a bike' consistently. 'Before 18 years' is better as 'before age 18.' Abbreviation 'Rd.' should be 'road.' 'Related to the bike' better 'involving bikes.' 'It is a risk' more natural as 'it is risky.' Suggestions: ensure correct word order, subject-verb agreement, plural pronouns agreement, and clearer noun phrases.