Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, pronunciation and clarity. Use correct past tense and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concise supporting details using linking words. For example, say who gave it, when you used it, and why it was useful. Also practise pronunciation of irregular verbs (bought) and reduce fillers like "uh."

例: Yes. My mother bought a bike for me when I was eight, so I usually rode it to school every day. It was practical because it saved time and helped me exercise, especially on short trips around the neighbourhood.

提案: Focus on accuracy, coherence and appropriate vocabulary. Start with a clear opinion sentence, then give specific reasons and an example. Use linking words (because, for example, therefore). Avoid wrong word choices (e.g. "mine" and "crying") and contradictory adjectives. Be concise (max 5 sentences).

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country because they are inexpensive and convenient for short journeys. For example, many people in smaller towns ride bikes to the market or to work each morning, which saves money and avoids traffic. Therefore bicycles are still a common mode of transport, especially in rural areas.

× Uh, yes, my mother buy it buy it for me.

✓ Uh, yes, my mother bought it for me.

The sentence refers to a past action (when the student was a child), so the verb should be in the simple past. 'Buy' is present tense; the correct past form is 'bought'. Also remove the repeated phrase 'buy it'. Suggestion: use 'bought' to match the past time reference.

× So I usually go to school by bike.

✓ So I usually go to school by bike.

This sentence is actually correct. 'Usually go' correctly uses the simple present to describe a habitual action. No change is needed.

× Uh, yes, I think mine are quite popular in my country because they are cheap and useful for the short trips and many people ride them to work on the market.

✓ Uh, yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because they are cheap and useful for short trips, and many people ride them to work or to the market.

Multiple issues: 'mine' is incorrect pronoun choice; use 'bikes' or 'they'. 'the short trips' uses unnecessary definite article; use 'short trips'. The phrase 'to work on the market' is unclear; likely intended 'to work or to the market'. Also subject-verb agreement and pronoun clarity improve by using 'bikes' and 'they'. Ensure parallel structure with commas and conjunctions.

× For example in the smaller towns you can see lots of people crying every morning because it is fast and sad.

✓ For example, in smaller towns you can see lots of people cycling every morning because it is fast and cheap.

The student used 'crying' which means shedding tears; the intended verb is 'cycling' (riding bicycles). 'Smaller towns' does not need 'the'. 'Because it is fast and sad' is incorrect: 'sad' is wrong adjective; likely 'cheap' or 'convenient'. Use 'cycling' (present participle) to describe an ongoing habitual action and 'cheap' to explain why they cycle.