Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, correct word choice, and limit to 3–4 concise sentences. Replace unclear phrase “captured by my father” with the intended verb (probably “given by my father”). Add one specific detail (color, when, or a memory) and use a linking word to connect ideas. Avoid redundant phrasing such as “at that time a lot.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father gave it to me for my eighth birthday, and it was a bright red BMX that I loved. Because of that gift, I spent most afternoons riding with my friends around the neighborhood.

提案: Organize the answer: begin with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., “very popular,” “afford a car,” “that’s why bikes are popular,” not “bag” or “too much popular”). Keep sentences concise and avoid vague phrasing like “it says you traveling.”

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Firstly, many people cannot afford a car, so a bicycle or motorbike is a cheaper alternative. Secondly, bikes are convenient for short trips and reduce traffic costs, so people can travel quickly and affordably.

× It was captured by my father and I was happy at that time a lot.

✓ My father took it and I was very happy at that time.

The phrase 'was captured by my father' is incorrect for describing taking a bike; 'captured' implies seizing or photographing. This is a word choice error and should be corrected to 'took'. Also 'a lot' after 'at that time' is awkward; use 'very' before the adjective 'happy'. Suggestion: use verbs that match everyday actions (take, buy, receive) and place intensifiers ('very') before adjectives. Grammar problem type IDs: 6 (Present tense issue) and 26 (Sentence structure errors).

× And I also got some other gifts rather than that.

✓ I also received some other gifts besides that.

'Rather than' is used for preference or comparison and is not appropriate here; 'besides' or 'in addition to' fits better. 'Got' is informal; 'received' is more natural in this context. Suggestion: use 'besides' to add information and choose more precise verbs. Grammar problem type ID: 16

× Yeah, bikes are too much popular in my country because other people do not afford any car.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people cannot afford a car.

'Too much popular' is ungrammatical; use 'very popular' or 'too popular' with different meaning. 'Other people do not afford any car' is incorrect: the verb 'afford' requires 'cannot afford' and 'a car' is more natural than 'any car' in this context. Suggestion: use 'many people cannot afford a car' and correct adjective intensity to 'very'. Grammar problem type IDs: 13 (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs) and 11 (Incorrect use of prepositions/structure).

× Then people try to buy a bike because it is not too expensive.

✓ So people try to buy a bike because it is not very expensive.

'Then' suggesting sequence is acceptable but 'so' better expresses cause. 'Not too expensive' is acceptable but 'not very expensive' is more natural here. No major tense problem; adjust word choice for naturalness. Suggestion: prefer 'so' for cause and use 'very' for intensity. Grammar problem type ID: 16

× That's why bag is so popular and it says you traveling, we can go anywhere at any time and it's also efficient.

✓ That's why bikes are so popular: they let you travel; we can go anywhere at any time, and they are also efficient.

Multiple errors: 'bag' is a likely typo for 'bike'; 'That's why bike is so popular' needs plural 'bikes are'. 'It says you traveling' is ungrammatical — intended meaning is 'they let you travel' or 'they allow you to travel'. Combine clauses with correct punctuation; maintain subject-verb agreement ('they are'). Suggestion: use plural when speaking generally ('bikes are'), replace 'says you traveling' with 'let you travel', and use commas/colons to clarify ideas. Grammar problem type IDs: 1 (Singular and plural issue) and 26 (Sentence structure errors)