Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., “I really enjoyed cycling” or “I used to ride around my house”).

例: Yes. I had a small pink bike when I was a child. I used to ride it around my house because I grew up in a quiet village that felt safe for kids. As a result, I spent a lot of my free time cycling with my friends.

提案: Organize your answer with a clear opinion followed by specific reasons and use linking words. Avoid hesitations and grammatical errors (e.g., “where we are” not “where we at”, “places to ride” not “places for ride around”). Provide one clear contrast and an example or brief explanation.

例: Yes, but it depends on the region. In western cities, biking is more common because there are dedicated bike lanes and parks, so many people cycle for commuting and exercise. However, in some eastern cities there are few safe cycling paths, so fewer people choose to ride bikes there.

× I used to ride around my house because I grew up in a village where it is much safer for a child and I really enjoy cycling, ride cycling around and.

✓ I used to ride around my house because I grew up in a village where it was much safer for a child and I really enjoyed cycling around.

Errors: incorrect mix of tenses and redundant verb forms. 'Grew up' is past, so 'it is much safer' should be 'it was much safer' to keep past-time consistency (present tense issue -> use past). 'I really enjoy cycling, ride cycling around and' is ungrammatical: 'enjoy' should match past 'used to' context as 'enjoyed', and 'ride cycling around' is redundant. Use 'enjoyed cycling around' or 'used to enjoy cycling around'. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and use one verb phrase with -ing after 'enjoy(ed)'.

× I think it depends on where we at, cause uh, if the person is in the, uh, western cities, it has a lot of places for ride around.

✓ I think it depends on where we are, because, if a person is in western cities, there are a lot of places to ride around.

Errors: 'where we at' is nonstandard; correct form is 'where we are' (subject-verb order). 'cause' should be 'because' (conjunction form). 'the western cities' -> 'western cities' (article unnecessary). 'it has a lot of places for ride around' is incorrect: use existential 'there are' for plural 'places' and 'to ride around' uses infinitive after 'places'. Also use 'a person' or 'people' rather than 'the person'. Suggestion: use 'there are' + 'places to ride around' and correct prepositions and verb forms.

× But if the person is in the eastern cities, uh, it doesn't have a lot of, it doesn't have much places for ride around and it's not where we come and use it.

✓ But if a person is in eastern cities, they don't have many places to ride around, and they don't use bikes there.

Errors: Pronoun reference and agreement problems: 'the person' -> 'a person' and singular 'it' incorrectly refers to people/cities. Use 'they' as a gender-neutral singular or 'people' plural. 'doesn't have much places' is wrong: use 'many places' for countable plural. 'for ride around' should be 'to ride around'. 'it's not where we come and use it' is unclear and ungrammatical; rephrase to 'they don't use bikes there' for clarity. Suggestion: match pronouns to antecedents and use 'many' with countable nouns, infinitive 'to ride' after 'places'.