Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and article use, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating similar ideas. Also use slightly richer vocabulary (e.g., "couldn't afford one," "walked to school," "occasionally took the school bus") and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my family couldn't afford one. Instead, I usually walked to school with my friends, which I enjoyed because it gave us time to chat. Occasionally I took the school bus when the weather was bad.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons or examples using linking words. Correct small grammar (use "because" or "as" smoothly, and avoid absolute statements like "every person"). Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "affordable," "widely used for short trips"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for short trips. For example, many people use bicycles to commute to work or visit nearby markets, especially where traffic is heavy.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was child because my family couldn't afford it.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my family couldn't afford it.

Missing the article 'a' before 'child'. Use 'a child' for countable singular noun. Suggestion: include the indefinite article when referring to 'a child'.

× I usually walked to the school with my friends and I loved it and sometimes I used school bus instead of walking.

✓ I usually walked to school with my friends and I loved it, and sometimes I took the school bus instead of walking.

Multiple issues: 'to the school' is unnecessary — use 'to school' for the activity of attending school (article error). 'Used school bus' is incorrect verb choice and missing article — use 'took the school bus'. Also sentence run-on: add a comma and separate clauses for clarity. Suggestion: use 'to school' and the verb 'took' with article 'the' before 'school bus'.

× Yes, bikes are very popular in my country.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in my country.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. It uses plural 'bikes' appropriately and fits the question's tense.

× The reason is bikes are cheaper than the cars and other vehicles and every person can afford it.

✓ The reason is that bikes are cheaper than cars and other vehicles, and everyone can afford them.

Problems: missing conjunction 'that' after 'The reason is' to introduce the clause (sentence structure). 'the cars' is incorrect with a general plural — use 'cars' without article. 'Every person' is acceptable but 'everyone' is more natural. 'It' wrongly refers to plural 'bikes' — use 'them'. Also add a comma before the final coordinating conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: include 'that', remove unnecessary 'the' before plural nouns, use 'everyone' and match pronoun number to 'bikes' by using 'them'.