Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and tense errors, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. For example, correct verb tense and article use, remove filler words, and give a brief reason or memory.

例: No, I didn’t have my own bike as a child. However, I used to borrow a neighbour’s bike quite often, so I learned to ride on weekends and sometimes rode to the park with friends.

提案: Improve grammar, use clearer linking words, and provide a specific reason or example. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add supporting detail with a linking word (e.g., because, for example). Avoid repetition and informal fillers like 'like' and 'uh'.

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country. For example, many people use them for short trips and exercise; in my family my father still rides daily for fitness even though he is older.

× I don't think I ever had a bike when I was a child, but there have been a neighborhood, uh, friend of mine who has a bike and I used to borrow it so I can just ride it.

✓ I don't think I ever had a bike when I was a child, but there was a friend in the neighborhood who had a bike and I used to borrow it so I could ride it.

The phrase 'there have been a neighborhood friend' is incorrect. Use 'there was' or restructure as 'a friend in the neighborhood' to indicate existence in the past. Also change 'has a bike' to 'had a bike' to maintain past tense consistency and 'so I can' to 'so I could' for past-time modality. Suggestion: keep verbs in the same past timeframe and place 'in the neighborhood' next to the noun it modifies.

× Yeah, I think bike is a popular in my country and like my even my father loved to ride a bike and he is like older right now but he doesn't give up on like riding a bike even though it is like risky for him.

✓ Yeah, I think bikes are popular in my country, and even my father loved riding a bike; he is older now but he hasn't given up riding, even though it is risky for him.

Multiple article and agreement issues: 'bike is a popular' should be 'bikes are popular' to use the plural noun and correct verb agreement. Remove the extra definite/indefinite article. 'My even my father' is incorrect word order; use 'even my father'. Use 'loved riding' or 'loved to ride' (past tense) to match timeframe. 'He is like older right now' -> 'he is older now'. 'Doesn't give up on like riding a bike' -> 'hasn't given up riding' for natural phrasing and correct tense. Also reduce filler words like 'like' for clarity.