Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise, avoid filler words, use a clear topic sentence, and add one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct grammar (e.g., verb forms and articles). Keep to no more than 4–5 sentences.

例: Yes, I did. It was my favorite possession as a child because I used it every day to ride to my friends’ houses and to explore the neighborhood. For example, I remember cycling to the park with my brother and learning new tricks, which made many happy memories.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid conversational fillers, and organize reasons using linking words. Provide specific examples or observations (where and among whom bikes are popular). Keep sentences clear and grammatical and limit length to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country. Firstly, they are affordable and easy to learn, so many students and workers use them for short commutes. For instance, I often see groups of students cycling to school and delivery riders using bicycles in the city.

× Yes, I did, and that is the best thing that I ever had when I was a kid and something that, uh, definitely complete my childhood memories that I could look back with.

✓ Yes, I did, and that was the best thing I ever had when I was a kid, and it definitely completed my childhood memories that I can look back on.

The sentence mixes past and present incorrectly and uses incorrect verb forms. 'That is' should be 'that was' to match past context. 'Ever had' is acceptable but 'I ever had' fits better without 'that'. 'Complete' should be past tense 'completed' because it refers to a past action. 'Could look back with' is ungrammatical; use 'can look back on' or 'could look back on' depending on perspective. Suggestion: keep past-tense consistency and use correct verb forms and preposition 'on' after 'look back'. Examiner phrase tense context: use past for experiences in childhood.

× Definitely because you know, we all know that bike is not only popular to our country, but in a whole world it is very popular because when we say bike, it is something like very accessible to all of the people because it is easy to learn with compared to the motorcycle.

✓ Definitely, because we all know that bikes are not only popular in our country but are popular all over the world. A bike is very accessible to everyone and easier to learn to ride compared to a motorcycle.

Several issues: singular/plural and subject-verb agreement ('bike is' should be 'bikes are' when speaking generally), incorrect prepositions ('popular to our country' should be 'popular in our country'; 'in a whole world' should be 'all over the world'), awkward phrasing 'something like very accessible to all of the people' corrected to 'very accessible to everyone'. 'Easy to learn with' is incorrect; use 'easier to learn to ride'. Suggestions: use plural when referring to the general class, choose correct prepositions ('in', 'all over'), and use clear collocations ('easy to learn', 'learn to ride').

× And I have observed as well that on the other.

✓ And I have also observed that, on the other hand, ...

The fragment is incomplete and incorrectly ordered. 'As well' is fine but placement is better as 'I have also observed'. 'On the other' is a fragment; the correct phrase is 'on the other hand' and needs a contrasting clause to finish the sentence. Suggestion: complete the contrast by adding the other point, for example 'On the other hand, many people prefer motorcycles for longer trips.'