Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer communicates the main idea but has many grammar and word choice errors, some repetition, and unclear phrases. To improve: 1) Start with a clear topic sentence: “Yes, I did.” 2) Use correct past-tense and simpler verbs (e.g. ‘bought’ instead of ‘bar both for a buy’). 3) Avoid repetition (don’t repeat ‘fresh school’). 4) Add one specific supporting detail using a linking word (for example, ‘because’ or ‘so’) and keep it to 1–2 extra sentences. 5) Keep total sentences under five and ensure clarity. Focus on accurate verb forms, correct vocabulary (bicycle, ride), and natural expressions of emotion (e.g. ‘I was thrilled’).

例: Yes, I did. My parents bought a bicycle for me when I was in primary school, and I was thrilled to ride it for the first time. Because our house was near a park, I practised there every weekend and quickly learned to ride without help.

提案: Your answer tries to say bikes are popular but is unclear and contains incorrect words and grammar. To improve: 1) Begin with a direct sentence: “Yes, bikes are very popular.” 2) Use correct nouns and verbs (children, ride, own) and avoid filler sounds like ‘uh’. 3) Provide one specific reason with a linking word (for example, ‘because’ or ‘so’) and a short example. 4) Keep sentences concise and check subject-verb agreement. Practice common collocations: ‘ride to school’, ‘own a bike’, ‘widely used’.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many families find them affordable and convenient. For example, many children ride their bikes to school every day, especially in smaller towns where distances are short.

× Yes of course my parents bar both for a buy for me when I was in my in fresh school.

✓ Yes, of course my parents bought one for me when I was in my first year of school.

Original sentence uses incorrect pronouns/words ('bar both for a buy for me', 'fresh school') and wrong verb form. This fits 'Incorrect use of pronouns' because pronoun/word choice and references are unclear and incorrect. Correction replaces with 'bought one for me' to clearly show parents purchased a bike. Also change 'fresh school' to 'first year of school' to convey intended meaning. Suggestion: use clear noun phrases ('bought one', 'first year') and correct verb tense for past events ('bought').

× I was really extremely happy when the first time I chirped in my bicycle.

✓ I was really happy the first time I rode my bicycle.

Original sentence has incorrect verb choice ('chirped') and awkward word order. This is a past-tense event, so use the simple past 'rode' as the verb. Remove redundant adverbs ('really extremely') and place 'the first time' before the verb phrase for natural order. Suggestion: use appropriate past-tense verb for riding and avoid redundant modifiers.

× Of course, uh, on small every children in my country have theirs out by scores, uh, they can write by their sale themselves to school.

✓ Of course, almost every child in my country has one; they can ride it to school by themselves.

Original sentence misuses quantifiers and pronouns ('on small every children', 'theirs out by scores') and has subject-verb agreement errors. This matches 'Incorrect use of quantifiers' because 'every' requires singular 'child' and 'almost' fits intended meaning. Use singular 'child' and singular verb 'has'. Replace unclear phrases with 'has one' and 'ride it to school by themselves'. Suggestion: pair 'every' with singular nouns, choose suitable quantifiers ('almost', 'most'), and ensure subject-verb agreement.