Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and use a clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect phrasing (e.g., “Reason because,” “you also made me to have”). Use one or two linking words (e.g., “because,” “so,” “therefore”) to connect ideas and give a short example or brief reason. Keep the answer to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child. My parents didn’t allow it because they thought cycling would distract me from my studies and could lead to injuries. For example, a cousin of mine had several accidents, so my parents preferred I walk or use public transport.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, then add specific, linked supporting details. Replace fragmented phrases like “Reason. Because” with smooth connectors (e.g., “because,” “so,” “therefore”). Provide concrete examples or brief statistics if possible and avoid vague wording such as “means of survival.”

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and practical for daily use. For instance, many families use bicycles to take children to school and small traders rely on them to carry goods to the market, so they are both a transport and income source.

× I never had a bike when I was a child.

✓ I did not have a bike when I was a child.

Use did not + base verb for negative simple past in English. 'Never had' is understandable but 'did not have' is the standard negative form; you can also keep 'I never had' but consistency with other negatives in the response favors 'I did not have'. Use: 'I did not have a bike when I was a child.' This clarifies the past negative tense.

× Reason because my parents never allowed me to have and I never I never knew how to ride a bike.

✓ The reason was that my parents never allowed me to have one, and I never knew how to ride a bike.

The phrase 'Reason because' is ungrammatical; use 'The reason was that' or 'Because'. Also 'allowed me to have' needs an object (one/a bike). Remove the repeated 'I never'. Keep past tense for consistency: 'was', 'allowed', 'knew'. Suggestion: Use 'The reason was that my parents never allowed me to have one, and I never knew how to ride a bike.'

× Then they thought maybe riding a bike could distract me from my studies and you also made me to have more wounds or accident.

✓ They thought riding a bike might distract me from my studies and could also cause me more injuries or accidents.

'You' is the wrong pronoun; speaker should use 'they' or passive phrasing. 'Could distract' fits better than 'could distract me from'. 'Made me to have' is incorrect — use 'cause me' or 'lead to'. Use plural 'injuries' or 'accidents' rather than 'wounds or accident'. Also change 'maybe' to 'might' and keep modal consistency. Suggestion: 'They thought riding a bike might distract me from my studies and could also cause me more injuries or accidents.'

× Yes, bikes are popular in my country. Reason. Because many people in our country use bike as a means of survival, sending their children to school.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my country because many people use them to earn a living and to take their children to school.

'Reason. Because' is fragmented; combine into one sentence. 'Use bike' is missing an object and correct verb form; use 'use them' (pronoun for bikes) or 'use bikes'. 'Means of survival' is awkward — use 'earn a living'. Keep present simple tense for general facts. Suggestion: 'Yes, bikes are popular in my country because many people use them to earn a living and to take their children to school.'

× It's a source of income.

✓ They are a source of income.

If referring to bikes (plural), the pronoun and verb should be plural: 'They are a source of income.' If you mean 'a bike can be a source of income', then rephrase to 'A bike can be a source of income.' Choose plural agreement to match previous sentence about 'bikes'. Suggestion: 'They are a source of income.' or 'A bike can be a source of income.'