Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “Yes, I did.”), then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense and grammar (past tense for childhood events) and avoid filler words. Link ideas with simple connectors and correct pronouns. For example, say when you received the bike, who gave it, and how you felt in two to three sentences.

例: Yes, I did. My father gave me a motorcycle when I was 16, shortly after I finished tenth grade, and I was really grateful because it made commuting to school much easier.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and then add a linked, specific reason with an example. Use plural agreement and smoother linking words. Avoid sentence fragments — finish your example with a result or consequence. Aim for two to three sentences with relevant vocabulary (affordable, convenient, fuel-efficient, traffic).

例: Yes, motorbikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient. For example, many people use them to run errands or buy groceries quickly, especially in busy cities where traffic makes cars less practical.

× Uh, yes, I have a bike.

✓ Uh, yes, I had a bike.

The question asks about the past ('when you were a child'), so the student should use past tense. Using present tense 'have' is inconsistent with the time frame. Use 'had' to match past context.

× When I was a child, uh, at the age of 16 years after the completion of 10th, my father gifted me a bike and I was grateful to them, to him that he give.

✓ When I was a child, at the age of 16, after finishing 10th grade, my father gifted me a bike and I was grateful to him that he did.

This sentence has multiple issues: awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms. 'At the age of 16 years after the completion of 10th' is wordy; use 'at the age of 16, after finishing 10th grade.' 'Grateful to them, to him' is inconsistent pronoun use; use 'grateful to him.' The clause 'that he give' uses the base form 'give' incorrectly for past reference; use past 'did' or 'gave' (here 'did' fits the phrase 'grateful to him that he did'). These corrections align tense and improve clarity.

× Yes, in my country motorbikes are very popular because it is quite affordable and it gives convenience.

✓ Yes, in my country motorbikes are very popular because they are quite affordable and they are convenient.

The sentence has pronoun agreement and word choice issues. 'Motorbikes' is plural, so use 'they' not 'it.' 'Gives convenience' is awkward; use 'they are convenient' or 'they provide convenience.' Also maintain present simple for general fact.

× For example, if you have to travel to nearby places for any buying any products such as groceries.

✓ For example, if you have to travel to nearby places to buy items such as groceries.

The phrase 'for any buying any products' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use the infinitive 'to buy' to express purpose and simplify 'any products' to 'items' or 'products.' This creates a correct purpose clause.

× So you can simply.

✓ So you can do so easily.

This fragment is incomplete. 'So you can simply' lacks an object or verb phrase. Completing it with 'do so easily' or 'use it' finishes the thought and fits the context.