Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, use correct tense, avoid filler sounds, and make the description clearer and more grammatical. Start with a topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. For example, mention who gave the bike or where you rode it, and correct tense errors (“was” instead of “am”).

例: No, I didn’t have my own bike when I was a child. However, I often rode a small bicycle that belonged to my cousin, and we usually rode it around the neighborhood after school.

提案: Give a clear opinion, use accurate vocabulary, and explain with specific details and linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like “jungle generation” and fix comparative structure. Mention who uses bikes most and why, and provide one brief example or reason.

例: Yes, definitely. Bikes are very popular in my country, especially among young people because they are cheap and practical. For example, many students cycle to school and markets, while older adults tend to prefer motor vehicles.

× When I am a child, I usually, uh, run, uh, a bicycle.

✓ When I was a child, I usually rode a bicycle.

The sentence describes past habitual action, so past tense is required. 'When I am a child' should be 'When I was a child' (past tense of to be). 'Run a bicycle' is incorrect collocation; the correct verb is 'ride' for bicycles. Use 'rode' as the past tense of 'ride' to match 'usually' when referring to past habits. Suggestion: Use past simple for past habits (When I was a child, I usually rode a bicycle).

× A small bicycle in my childhood.

✓ I had a small bicycle during my childhood.

This fragment lacks a main verb and subject properly connected; it's a sentence fragment. To make it a complete sentence, include a subject and verb: 'I had'. Also use 'during my childhood' or 'in my childhood' to indicate the time period. Suggestion: Combine with previous sentence or make it complete: 'I had a small bicycle during my childhood.'

× In my country bikes are very popular, uh, most of the popularity in the jungle generation.

✓ In my country, bikes are very popular, especially among the younger generation.

The original uses 'jungle generation' which is likely a pronunciation error; the intended phrase is 'younger generation'. Also 'most of the popularity in the...' is ungrammatical; use 'especially among' to indicate which group. Maintain present tense 'are' because this is a general statement. Suggestion: Say 'especially among the younger generation.'

× They use more bikes more than the uh, like the mature and older people.

✓ They use bikes more than mature or older people do.

Pronoun and comparative structure are awkward. 'They use more bikes more than...' repeats 'more' unnecessarily. Place the verb 'do' at the end for comparison: '...more than mature or older people do.' Also choose 'mature' is odd; better: 'adults' or 'older people.' Suggestion: 'They use bikes more than older people do.'