Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear, relevant and natural, but you can improve by giving a stronger topic sentence and adding one specific detail or short example to make it more vivid. Also avoid repeating “bike” too often by using a pronoun or synonym. Keep it within four to five sentences.

例: Yes — I had a small red bike when I was a child and used it every day to get to school. For example, I would ride three kilometers each morning, which saved time and gave me fresh air. In the evenings I often met friends at the park and we rode together until dusk.

提案: Good content and reasons are given, but fix a small sentence fragment and make linking between ideas smoother. Use one or two linking words (for example, "because" or "as a result") and provide a concrete example or statistic to support your point. Limit to four sentences and avoid repeating general phrases.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many families encourage cycling from a young age. For example, parents often take children to neighborhood cycling groups, so kids make friends while exercising. As a result, cycling is seen as both a social activity and a healthy habit.

× Yes, I do think that bikes are popular. In my country.

✓ Yes, I do think that bikes are popular in my country.

The original contains a sentence fragment: 'In my country.' is not a complete sentence and should be connected to the previous sentence. This is a sentence structure error. Combine the fragment with the preceding sentence to form a complete, grammatical sentence.

× Most parents introduce their children to bikes at a very young age.

✓ Most parents introduce their children to biking at a very young age.

Using 'to bikes' is awkward because 'introduce someone to' normally takes an activity or concept (introduce to cycling/biking) rather than an object. This is an issue with word choice and pronoun/phrase use; rephrase to 'introduce their children to biking' or 'introduce their children to cycling' to be natural and grammatical.

× It helps them develop new connections with their friends.

✓ It helps them develop new friendships with their friends.

'Develop new connections with their friends' is grammatical but awkward and repetitive because 'new connections' and 'with their friends' overlap. Replacing with 'develop new friendships' is clearer. This falls under incorrect or awkward adjective/noun usage; using a more natural collocation improves clarity.

× They also spend a lot of time outdoors, which helps them exercise and improve their health.

✓ They also spend a lot of time outdoors, which helps them get exercise and improve their health.

The original is generally acceptable, but 'helps them exercise' can be slightly ambiguous; 'get exercise' is the more natural collocation in this context. This is a present tense usage choice to match habitual actions; adjust the verb phrase for naturalness.