Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitation words, give a clear topic sentence, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Keep it within 3–4 concise sentences. For example, mention when you had it or who gave it to you and one brief reason or feeling to make the answer more informative and natural.

例: Yes. I had a purple Barbie bike when I was a child, which my parents bought for me for my sixth birthday. However, I was too afraid to ride it without training wheels, so I mostly used it with the extra wheels for practice.

提案: Eliminate fillers, start with a direct topic sentence, then use linking words (for example, because, for instance) to add one or two specific supporting details such as where people ride bikes, who uses them, or reasons for popularity. Finish with a short personal remark if relevant.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For instance, I often see families and commuters cycling in the town park and on bike lanes, because cycling is inexpensive and good exercise. Personally, I wish I had learned earlier so I could join them.

× Uh, I had a purple Barbie bike when I was a child.

✓ Uh, I had a purple Barbie bike when I was a child.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses past simple to describe a past possession. Keep as is.

× Uh, although, uh, I didn't know how to ride it because uh, I was too scared to learn how to ride it without my training wheels.

✓ Although I didn't know how to ride it because I was too scared to learn without my training wheels.

The sentence uses past simple correctly but contains unnecessary filler words and repetition. Remove filler 'uh' and repeated phrases to make the sentence clearer and more natural while retaining past tense meaning.

× Yes, I think uh, bikes are very popular in my country uh, whenever I go to the, my town's park, I always see people riding bikes and uh, so many of my friends, uh, love riding bikes even though I don't know how to ride a bike, but uh, I wish I learn.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country. Whenever I go to my town's park, I always see people riding bikes, and many of my friends love riding bikes. Even though I don't know how to ride a bike, I wish I could learn.

Multiple issues: remove filler words for clarity; split into sentences to fix sentence structure; 'so many of my friends' is acceptable but 'many of my friends' is more natural. The clause 'I wish I learn' is grammatically incorrect. For a present unreal desire about ability, use 'I wish I could learn' or 'I wish I had learned'; here 'I wish I could learn' expresses desire to learn now and corrects verb modal use (Modal verb usage and present tense).