Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and give clear supporting details. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct verb tenses, and avoid irrelevant words. Use linking words (e.g., since, because, so) and specific details (age, how you used it, how long you kept it). Limit to up to five sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bicycle as a child. It was a gift from my father on my seventh birthday, and I used it to ride around our neighborhood every afternoon. Because it was well made, I kept it for several years until I outgrew it. Riding that bike helped me become more confident and independent.

提案: Give a clear opinion sentence, avoid filler words (uh, um), use correct grammar and plural/singular forms, and add specific reasons or examples. Use linking words (for example, because, moreover) to connect ideas and keep the answer within five sentences.

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country because they are inexpensive and convenient for short trips. For example, many people use bikes to commute to work or to the market since traffic can be heavy. Moreover, cycling is promoted as a healthy and environmentally friendly option.

× I would.

✓ I did.

The student used 'I would' which implies conditional or habitual past but is incomplete here. The question asked about possession in childhood, so a simple past response 'I did' correctly answers that. Use simple past for completed actions in the past.

× It was a gift from my father from my 7th birthday and I love reading it around the neighborhood.

✓ It was a gift from my father for my 7th birthday and I loved riding it around the neighborhood.

Two errors: preposition 'from my 7th birthday' is incorrect; use 'for my 7th birthday' to indicate purpose/occasion. Also 'reading it' is wrong verb; context is riding a bicycle. Tense should be past ('loved') to match 'was' and childhood timeframe.

× I keep it for the several years.

✓ I kept it for several years.

The student used present 'keep' with a past time period; this is a tense mismatch. Use simple past 'kept' for an action that occurred in the past, and use 'for several years' (no definite article) for duration.

× Yes, I think, uh, bicycle, it's uh, very common tools for most people in my country because it's very convenient and, uh, affordable for the most people, Yeah, and, uh, it's uh, also also a good choice.

✓ Yes, I think bicycles are very common for most people in my country because they are very convenient and affordable for most people, and they are also a good choice.

Multiple issues: singular 'bicycle' should be plural 'bicycles' when speaking generally (subject-verb agreement and noun number), and 'it's' (it is) incorrectly refers to plural; replace with 'they are'. 'Tools' is awkward—omit or use 'means of transport' but 'common' with plural noun is enough. Remove duplicated 'also'. Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedent.