Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (like "uh") and correct verb forms ("so I could learn"). Also reduce redundancy ("very exciting and very nostalgic").

例: Yes. I had a bike when I was about five. My father bought a second-hand bicycle so I could learn to ride around our neighborhood, and I remember feeling excited and proud. That experience was important because it helped me gain confidence and independence.

提案: Answer directly, use clearer vocabulary and correct plural and article usage. Say why bikes are popular and give a specific example or comparison. Remove filler words and avoid awkward phrases like "many peoples are owning bikes." Use linking words (e.g., "because", "for example").

例: Yes, definitely. Bicycles are very popular in Vietnam because they are cheap and convenient for short trips. For example, many students and workers commute by bike every day, especially in smaller cities where traffic is lighter.

× my dad bought a used bicycle so that I can learn how to bike around the neighborhood.

✓ my dad bought a used bicycle so that I could learn how to bike around the neighborhood.

The main clause is in the past tense ('bought'), so the subordinate clause should use past modality ('could') to maintain sequence of tenses. Using 'can' is present-tense and mismatches the past context. Suggestion: use 'could' when reporting past intentions or abilities.

× it's one of my first lesson in life.

✓ it's one of my first lessons in life.

The phrase 'one of my first' requires a plural noun after 'of' ('lessons') because 'one of the...' selects one item from a group. Using singular 'lesson' is incorrect. Suggestion: make the noun plural: 'lessons.'

× In fact, I believe riding bikes is one of, uh, popular sports.

✓ In fact, I believe riding bikes is one of the popular sports.

When using 'one of the...' before a plural noun, the definite article 'the' is required. The original omitted 'the' and included an awkward comma. Suggestion: remove the comma and include 'the': 'one of the popular sports.' Alternatively, rephrase to 'a popular sport.'

× In Vietnam where I'm living, umm, many peoples are owning bikes and riding them every single day.

✓ In Vietnam where I'm living, many people own bikes and ride them every single day.

'Peoples' is incorrect when referring to individuals; 'people' is the correct plural of 'person.' Also, stative verbs like 'own' and habitual actions like 'ride' use the simple present, not continuous 'are owning'/'are riding.' Suggestion: use 'many people own' and 'ride' for general habitual facts.