Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct minor grammar (e.g., “when I think I was” → “when I was about”). Remove filler sounds like “Uh.”

例: Yes. I had two bikes as a child. The first was a very small bike I rode when I was about six or seven, and later my father bought me a larger adult-style bike because I had outgrown the smaller one.

提案: Answer directly, use clear grammar and linking words, and give a specific contrast with examples. Avoid vague phrases like “you know” and fix sentence structure (e.g., “children in my country are they ride” → “children in my country ride bikes a lot”).

例: Yes, bikes are popular among children, but less so among adults. For example, many children cycle to school for fun, whereas most adults prefer cars or public transport because of longer commutes and convenience.

× I had it when I think I was around 6/7.

✓ I had it when I think I was around six or seven.

Number formatting in speech can be written out; not a grammar error but style. However the main issue is tense/modal mixing: 'I had it when I think I was' mixes past simple with present 'think'. Better to use past reporting: 'I think I was' is acceptable; more consistent: 'I had it when I think I was around six or seven.' Suggestion: use 'I think I was' or 'I believe I was' without changing tense, or 'I had it when I was around six or seven.' Note: This correction preserves past reference and clarifies numbers.

× It was a really small bike and when I grew up and couldn't fit on that bike, my father bought me a new one, Uh, designed for adults.

✓ It was a really small bike, and when I grew up and could not fit on it, my father bought me a new one designed for adults.

Run-on and awkward pronoun use: 'couldn't fit on that bike' is okay but repeating 'bike' is redundant; use pronoun 'it'. Remove filler 'Uh'. Place 'designed for adults' immediately after 'one' without comma. Use 'could not' or 'couldn't' consistently. This fixes sentence structure and clarity.

× Actually children in my country are they ride their bike a lot, but adults, they tend to use cars or you know, public transporting systems instead of bike.

✓ Actually, children in my country ride their bikes a lot, but adults tend to use cars or public transport systems instead of bikes.

Multiple pronoun and number errors: 'are they ride' is ungrammatical — remove extraneous 'are' and 'they'. Use correct plural forms: 'children' with 'ride their bikes' (plural 'bikes'). 'Public transporting systems' is incorrect phrase; use 'public transport systems' or 'public transportation'. Also 'instead of bike' needs plural 'bikes' or 'a bike'. Remove colloquial filler 'you know'. These changes correct subject-verb structure, pronoun redundancy, and noun number and collocation issues.