Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise, correct minor errors, add a clear topic sentence and a specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition and keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. Learning to ride it was very exciting, and once I got the hang of it I rode it every day around my neighborhood. Because it was close by, I often visited friends and the park on my bike.

提案: Make the answer more concise and use clearer linking words; include a specific example or brief statistic to support the claim. Keep sentences natural and avoid wordiness (e.g., 'amongst'→'among').

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are inexpensive and environmentally friendly. For example, the government has built many bike lanes in cities, so commuters and students often cycle to work or school.

× Yes, I did own a bicycle when I was younger.

✓ Yes, I owned a bicycle when I was younger.

The auxiliary 'did' is unnecessary in a simple past affirmative sentence in English. Use the simple past verb form 'owned' without 'did'. Suggestion: Form simple past statements as Subject + past verb (I owned) rather than using 'did' with the base verb.

× And after I learned how to use it, I used to write it all the time all around my neighborhood.

✓ And after I learned how to use it, I used to ride it all the time around my neighborhood.

The verb 'write' is incorrect collocation for using a bicycle; the correct verb is 'ride'. 'Used to' correctly describes a past habitual action. Also 'all around my neighborhood' can be simplified to 'around my neighborhood'. Suggestion: Use 'ride' for bicycles and keep 'used to' for past habits.

× I think bikes are popular in my country amongst people from all different walks of life just because it is a very environmentally efficient way of traveling and has been promoted by the government quite a lot.

✓ I think bikes are popular in my country among people from all walks of life because they are a very environmentally efficient way of traveling and have been promoted by the government a lot.

'Amongst' is correct but less common; 'among' is more natural. 'All different walks of life' is wordy; 'all walks of life' is standard. 'It is' should agree with plural 'bikes' so use 'they are'. Also 'has been promoted' should agree with plural subject 'bikes', so use 'have been promoted'. Suggestion: Ensure pronoun/verb agreement with plural nouns and prefer concise phrasing.

× Also, there are a lot of people that really can't afford more expensive methods of travel.

✓ Also, there are a lot of people who really can't afford more expensive means of travel.

Use 'who' for people rather than 'that'. 'Methods of travel' is not wrong but 'means of travel' or 'more expensive transport options' is more natural. Suggestion: Use 'who' with people and prefer natural collocations like 'means of travel'.